"...Night, Katsu." I whispered, standing outside my door, hands in pockets. Aizawa was next to me, waiting for us to go inside and talk.Katsuki said nothing in return, and just hugged me again. Of course I returned it, but some part of me was a bit worried that I had broken him. He was showing... empathy? Sympathy? Whatever it was, it wasn't how Katsuki usually was.
He went back to his own room, and the guilt immediately set in.
I had just put a 15-year-old boy through that.
As cold of an exterior he had, I still felt fucking terrible.
I felt completely and utterly selfish.
In order to end my own pain, I was ready and willing to pass it onto the people I love.
That's not fair of me.
"You okay?" Aizawa asked quietly. I said nothing, and just unlocked the door to my room.
I never thought I'd see this place again.
Aizawa flicked on a lamp, sitting at my table. He waited for me to sit down too, I think, but I instead elected to slowly put on my pajamas. My body ached with an indescribable emptiness, yet a certain sadness lingered alongside it.
Silently, I climbed into bed. My eyes scrunched shut, not wanting to open and face my actions. My throat was dry; completely devoid of words.
What I wanted to say was,
'I'm sorry.'
'Forgive me.'
'I was scared.'
But I was too weak.
... Hm.
How... do you summarise the aftermath of something like this...?
How can you put it into words?
Into writing?
Into pen and paper?
Can... I do this feeling justice?
This overwhelming experience that puts you even more so on the precipice of falling off the edge again and again and again and again and again and again and again.
Maybe I'm not making sense.
But isn't that a better way to do this?
Rambling thoughts and feelings instead of literarily describing... whatever this is.
Well, Aizawa climbed into bed with me. I cried, and he tried not to cry.
It all hurt me.
Wanting to tear yourself apart hurts.
Being torn apart by your own head hurts.
But now, I had to enter a new chapter of my life.
I had my provisional license.
I was truly and finally on the path to becoming a hero.
And now I had to do something about this shit in my head.
The shit I'd been through.
This was it.
Do or die.
I have a lot of growing up to do.
I might not be a kid anymore, but I still have some maturing left.
Maybe I'm fragile; most heroes would be fine after things like this.
Maybe I'm different like that.
All I know, is that I'm struggling with life.
And I have for a long time.
But I'm finally ready to try.
Try to live a fulfilling life.
Not struggle through every fucking day and second.
Scrape by life.
The thing is, I can do it now.
I have so many wonderful fucking people now.
So,
I owe that to myself, don't I?
To try?
I think I do, now.
For the first time in my life.
THE QUIRKLESS AT U.A.: PART 1 END
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A/N
Welcome to the end of Part 1. I've decided to split it up into parts as this was a huge turning point in Y/N's journey and I felt that this would work as a standalone.
However, I will definitely be making a part 2. I'll put it into this book, so that everything is kept in one place.
I'll start sometime this week- hell, I might start tomorrow or today. Who knows?
I want to say thank you to everyone who has been reading- 5k reads feels fucking amazing and I'm so thankful to all of my new readers I've gained. To think I started out with 2 of my friends being my only readers lol. Never thought I'd be able to write it for this long and so often!
Special thanks to eldri_sv and EdgeLordCreator for being massive supporters from the start. Even just having 2 people reading really kept me going.
So. 113,017 words later, I sincerely hope you enjoyed reading my work, my escape from reality, yet something that also made me face my own reality through the issues written about.
This book is my catharsis, and I truly hope that you are somewhat entertained by it.
If you have any suggestions for part 2, feel free to drop a comment.
I love every single one of you!
See you soon,
Wyatt.
YOU ARE READING
The Quirkless At U.A. (Student Reader x Aizawa)
RomanceY/N is a Quirkless delinquent hell-bent on becoming a hero, and changing the way society sees Quirkless people; re-writing the very rules and imagery that a "hero" is meant to have, and proving those assholes wrong. Moving to Japan from England was...