Killed With Your Own Weapon (bxb) ✔

Chapter 2; Blood Spatters

I take a deep breath before I put the door handle down. Exactly when I step in the room I hear a voice: 'Where were you?'

Shit. It's my mother. 'I have to talk to you.' I sigh and say: 'Not now, please, I'm tired and I want to sleep.'

She suddenly shouts in horror: 'What's that on your face? Is that blood!?' Without saying anything, I slowly walk up the stairs. 'Zephyr, I said I wanted to talk to you, come down immediately!' I slam my door shut and lock it.

I hear her soft footsteps come up the stairs and sit down with a sigh against the door on the floor. Of course she tries the door first, but when it doesn't cooperate she starts talking: 'Zephyr, why don't you want to talk to me? Just open that door, why are you acting so childish?'

I don't say anything. 'Okay, I have to tell you something. I have a boyfriend.'

It strikes like a bomb. My mother has a boyfriend. Once before she had one too. I don't like strangers in my house at all. And certainly now, I don't feel like playing the perfect son.

'Oh', I say, not finding the right words.

'And guess what? He's moving in with us in two days!' She sounds sincerely happy so the least I can say is another 'Oh.'

There she goes again: 'I'm so excited! I haven't had a boyfriend in years!'

I sigh and say: 'Mum, I heard you, now can you please go? '

With a still excited 'Yeah, yes, okay', she leaves.

With my hands covering my face and my knees raised, I sit still for a few minutes.

This is fucked up. I am fucked up.

What did I do? I killed someone. What if someone knows? I've checked everything well...haven't I?

But he deserved it, I did the good thing, right?

I feel my scar itching. I lift my shirt up and look at the tattoo that covers up the scar.

"Dead Inside"

Fortunately my mother has never seen this. And I hope she'll never see it either.

I stand up and grab my phone from my desk. Bluetooth on and music sounds through the speakers in my room. The only thing I'm really spending my money on: music.

Music means a lot to me, it is just the only thing where I can really find myself. Music makes me sad, happy, angry, jealous, a rollercoaster of emotions. It's the only thing I have left.

So in moments like this, when I feel numb, when a breakdown arrives, music is my breakthrough.

I walk to the bathroom and wrap my hands around the sink. Panting because of tension, headaches and anxiety, I look in the mirror.

Blood spatters are spread across my skin and drops decorate my jaw. I try to sweep them away in an emotion of horror and fear.

It's only getting worse.

A shower then.

I turn off my music and slowly take off my clothes.

Warm water flows in streams over my body, draws figures on my skin and makes me shiver in sudden touch.

A smile is plastered on my face, I did great, I did the right thing. I feel the urge to laugh rise in me, but push it away and just smile again...

(Flashback)
(Previous Flashback; Chapter 1)

When I finally sit up, I look around me if I see them somewhere, but I don't see anybody. I bite on my bottom lip. My back hurts, on my arm can scrapes and forming bruises be seen. With a lot of trouble I grab the bottle and try to read what is on the note. But before I can even start I have to close my eyes again due to headache, blood drops and flashing black staines in my view.