Killed With Your Own Weapon (bxb) ✔

Chapter 21; Lost Trust

I know that deep down, I like him.

Why did I have to fall in love with someone that does such things to me, who doesn't care about me, who mistreats me, who just does what he likes to do without caring about others? Why? And why do I have to live so close to him, because there is no other option for me?

I hate this world and the world hates me.

The tears slowly dry on my skin.

Am I the problem here?

Do I need to like this? Does it have to be like this? Would other persons like this?

Nothing makes sense to me anymore. My feelings are so mixed that I can't even say what I am feeling now.

You're just stupid. 

Stop, just stop! Go away from my brain!

I open my mouth but no sound escapes through it. Desperate I stare at the wall on the opposite of me, feeling totally numb, freezed without emotion, tired of living.

I will just kill myself before the owner of the voice in my head will take me over in real life again. I know that he will slowly kill me if I don't do it before him.

If I want to get out of this room, I have to go through the kitchen and the living room. In one of those is Zephyr, because I can hear him talking. I will just get myself together, not let Zephyr get me weak, I'm not weak.

Fuck him.

I almost want to start crying again, but I stand up and walk slowly towards the door.

I need to be there for the small boy, I don't think Zephyr likes kids.

Nobody is in the kitchen. Before I open the door of the living room I take a deep breath.

Zephyr sits next to the kid and just looks at him intensely. The boy has a small airplane in his hands, which he rotates to all sides. 

'Should we burn down the airplane so all people die inside?' Zephyrs voice sounds very dark.

'No...' the boy says pouting while looking scared for two seconds and then moves a metre away from Zephyr, holding on to his airplane like it's a diamond.

What the fuck? Why tell a child such things?

'Go away', I demand Zephyr,' I'll play with him.'

'Calm down... don't be mad... I didn't do anything wrong.' He stands up with his hands in the air.

It makes me fucking angry. Why does he have to behave like an asshole? Do that to me is one thing but to an innocent child...

'Go to your damn room and do there whatever you want, but not here', I tell him, shoving him backwards.

'Don't fight...' suddenly sounds under us. I feel bad for the small boy, why can't Zephyr just stop acting like this?

'Now.'

'I don't care anyways', Zephyr says and gone is he.

I sigh relieved and sit down next to the child and pat his hair. 'We're not fighting, don't worry.'

'What happened...to... mouth?' he asks while pointing to my lips.

I go with my finger over my lips to feel if there is something there. When I look at my finger I find a red stain on it.

[Zephyr POV]

I am irritated. I let myself go multiple times today. Should I apologize? Why did he overreact so much?