CHAPTER 72: Heart In Flames

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~Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it~

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Yasmeen

They said love makes you strong, but in my opinion it makes you weak. It corkscrewed into my heart and it was hard to get it out again completely, not without ripping my heart to pieces.

My heart no longer felt as if it belonged to me. It now felt as if it had been stolen, torn from my chest by someone who wanted no part of it.

Like I have no heart, it simply wasn't there anymore. It had been broken, It had been scooped neatly out of me like the yolk from a hard-boiled egg, leaving the rest of me bloodless and congealed and hollow.

But slowly, with many lost days, I come back to life. I felt that I would rather not be in love with Ahmad, for it brought me no peace. What was the use of it, if it was only going to be painful?

For one, dazzling, infinite moment, I felt like I am standing on a precipice, the end of one world and the beginning of another, a whisper and a bang.

I am like a star passing through, delayed, stuck in a cosmic time line which will end in 40 more years or who knows surprisingly tomorrow, and release me to the universe where I belong...forgotten Sands...eternal love...

I was in the middle of my day when I remembered my love letters that I wait for everyday with not a visible enthusiasm but a hidden one, an excitement burning with a cold flame. I quickly made my way to the mailbox with goosebumps all over my body

Through these letters, I realized that Words can even make us feel the heartbeats of people whom we love and care for

I quickly opened the mailbox and there was my letter. I picked it up quickly, ripped the envelope open and I read......

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Hey beautiful,

Thanks for the letter, you writing to me meant the world to me. But the pain in your words, I wish it would vanish like dust in the vacuum

You are not a broken heart, You are not the weight you have lost and the way you slept alone, miserably and in smell of tears

I am sorry that you have become a house where the wind blows straight through, because no one bothers the crack in the window or lock on the door, and you're the house where people come and go as they please. You let people in and you let them walk around for a while, use you, abuse you, and you await the day when they simply get bored and leave. You know they shouldn't have been let in in the first place, but still you just sit there, apathetic like a beggar in the desert. And all you do is blame it on love and fate, and your resentment towards love keeps growing

You have to understand that it is not love that has hurt you, but someone who could not love you in the right way

Some people are in such utter darkness that they will burn you just to see a light. Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of your world, All things break, and all things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go on, Love me intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. My broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you.

Love, anonymous
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The power of my secret admirer is in the way he reads me, sees through me, and then understands the truth behind the facade. It's almost annoying, No one should ride tragedy like a pro surfer while I drown. Never the less, I love it. I love the way he studies me like a complicated piece of specimen and as valuable as a rare precious stone

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