OBLIVIOUS REDEMPTION

CHAPTER 67: To The Rescue

~ No darkness lasts forever. And even in darkness, there are stars~

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Yasmeen

Without my love letters, I feel like I am lost in the woods, and it took me a while to realize that I was lost. For the longest time, I have convinced myself that I have just wandered off the path, that I'll find my way back to the trailhead any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and I still have no idea where I am, and it's time to admit that I have bewildered myself so far off the path that I don't even know from which direction the sun rises anymore.

I stood by the kitchen counter, disappointed as an empty diary, lonely and forgotten, And this whole damn world has nothing new to tell me. I thought about Love, the reason why I brought myself here

Love, everyone thinks love is so beautiful, such a fairytale. I know better, I've seen myself and Ahmad, I've seen what love has done to me.

Love is the first and most devious deceiver, the most seductive delusion.

Love is parasitic, it's painful and inconvenient. I don't trust love anymore, I don't like what it does to people.

Love is an emotion, Love breaks your heart, Love is hopeless. Love is the emotion that broke me

I can use the blood from my spilling heart to write the words that were never able to slip out of my mouth, so you can see how much love has broken me into a perpetual state of melancholy.

But in that moment, I just realized something. Any happiness, no matter how brief, seemed better than the long, simmering torture of waking up day after day, knowing I belonged to Ahmad but I could never have him and I could never be happy with him. And I could never hurt him enough to make his betrayal stop hurting. And it hurts, in every part of my body.

I caught myself thinking about falling in love with someone who I hoped was out there right now thinking about the possibility of me, but I quickly banished the notion. It was that kind of thinking that landed me in this situation to begin with. Hope can ruin you.

Somehow, I felt the need to know my secret admirer even more. I can't explain the reasons, But I know that I want more of him and his letters in my life

After finishing my chores, I headed to the mail box to see if there is a letter for me today. and guess what? there is no love note today too. I walked along the pavement, lost in thoughts about my secret admirer, so deeply immersed that before I knew it I was in the middle of the road in front of a speeding car

I almost got hit, but Aminu came just in time to the rescue. He stepped in front of the car, yanking us both to the side of the road. He held me up, so close to himself that I could feel his breath on my skin

"Are you okey?" He asked, looking at me the way all women want to be looked at by a man.

"No" I screamed, in a choked voice that made him look even more concerned

"Shh, I've got you" he said, Drawing me closer to him. His voice was rough as if he has been screaming for only God knows how long.

Shameless, I tucked my head under his chin and wrapped my limbs tight around him. Touch never faltering, he kept the pats long smooth and soothing. It was grounding, as if I needed to be kept tethered to this world until I could inhabit my own skin better.

I could hear the erratic beat of his heart, its pulse matching my own. I felt it too, the exhilaration, and underneath it the thin electrifying undercurrent of fear, at the forbiddenness of his touch