OBLIVIOUS REDEMPTION

CHAPTER 31: Blinded By Lies

~Rudeness Is The Weak Man's Imitation Of Strength~

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Yasmeen:

"I know what you did, why are you so wicked?"

These are the first words that came out of Ahmad's mouth after a week of silence. All he had in mind was a scold to make up for all the time he has not been speaking to me.

"What have I done this time?" I asked, clueless

"While my mother and sister were talking the other day, you kept your mouth shut. You didn't take part in the conversation and they didn't like that" Ahmad said

"Tell me what that is, if not wickedness" He added

It was a very boring and shallow topic for a normal person who is not attention starved and popularity hungry, or obsessed with money and stalking the high profile people. Thats the answer that popped into my mind, but I didn't tell him that

I just kept my mouth shut

"What are you feeling like? If you do not accept my family, there will never be peace in this house. They told me everything you said, including the insults and offensive comments you passed when they were done talking" he said

"What insults?" I asked, surprised

"Enough with the presence, liar" He said, ignoring my question, thus not giving me a chance to explain myself.

He is blinded by lies, and he is not willing to listen to my side of the story

"How is that wicked? I didn't have anything to say because it wasn't a topic of my interest. I didn't want to talk out of context or simply say something that might offend Ummy or habiba. That's why I didn't take part in the conversation, and I didn't pass any rude or offensive comments afterwards" I replied

"So, you're calling my mother and sister boring and liars. I don't like the way you treat my family, what have they ever done to you?" He asked

"That's not what I meant" I replied

"I..... was just......." I tried to explain, but he cut me off

"Gosh! The fact that you don't see anything wrong with what you've done is pissing me off. I can't even stand the sight of you right now" he told me, looking away

I figured out that no amount of me trying to explain myself was doing any good.

"I'm sorry if I have offended you" I said, in defeat

"I'm not the one you have offended, you offended my mother and my sister. You need to go and apologize to them and never make the same mistake again" he said

"Apologize for what? For not taking part in their conversation?" I asked, not being able to hide my surprise

"Yes, and do it nicely" he replied

"This is ridiculous, you're clearly not thinking straight. Relax and have some rest, we will talk more about this over dinner" I told him, trying so hard not to lose my temper

"Are you kidding me? I'm not eating here, Ummy has saved some food for me. Go right ahead and eat your food, alone. Besides, you eat all the good food and give me the bad". Ahmad replied, and he went out of the house banging the door close.

So eating food is now a problem in his house, he is led to believe that I eat all the good food and feed him the bad. Unbelievable, I thought.

I guess Ahmad's thoughts have been corrupted, he has been fed with lies and his judgement is clouded. That's why he gives meaning to whatever I do or say.

I mean, what is so wrong in not being part of a conversation I am not interested in?

He left me wondering what lie they have told him that has got him so angry, because I never recalled insulting them or doing anything offensive. In fact, I was being extra careful and nice to them.

It took me a while, but I realize that Ahmad's family are those whose primary ability is to spin wheels of manipulation. It is their second skin and without these spinning wheels, they simply do not know how to function. They are like toys on wheels of manipulation and control. If you remove one of the wheels, they'll never be able to feel secure, or be whole.

Ahmad is being manipulated. He is vulnerable to control, he feels that he is selfish for deciding what to do with his own life or property.

Whenever he tries living peacefully with his wife, according to his will and vision, Ummy or Habiba starts a drama

And these days, all she does is remind him of all the things she has done for him since birth. And then guilt started consuming him, and he started following her orders blindly.

I have a feeling that Ahmad is doing all the bad things he does to me not because he feels it's the right thing to do, but to impress his mother. And this is because he feels indebted to her for being a mother and doing what all mothers do for their children to him.

Some parents donate body organs to their children which I doubt if Ummy has ever done to any of her children even the favorites amongst them, but here she is counting the countless favors she has done for Ahmad since birth.

If there is one lesson I have learned living with Ummy and habiba is that "Never attempt to win by force what can be won by deception".

But I also know that, I should never try to do anything that is outside of who I am. A forced conversation or a forced smile is a sign of what feels wrong in my heart, so I recognize it when it happens. Living a lie will reduce me to one, so I chose to stay true to myself.

For Ahmad's family, I am the evil one, the antagonist to their life's story. The reason why Ahmad got married too soon

Most of their hatred is based on fear, one way or another. They Wrapped themselves in anger, with a dash of hate, and at the bottom of it all is an icy center of pure terror, That Someone would come into Ahmad's life one day and become the core of his entire being

My only compensation is knowing that, Their inability to accept me is not my fault. Rejection teaches you how to reject, for Ummy and her children are a few of those people who stand outside the circle of this society's definition of acceptable people, those who have been forged in the crucibles of difference, those that are used to looking for other people's approval all their lives

They are the prisoners of their personal history, Everyone of them believes that the main aim in life is to follow a plan. They never ask if that plan is theirs or if it was created by another person. They accumulate experiences, memories, things, other people's ideas, and it is more than they can possibly cope with. And that is why they forget their dreams, Thus leading to unhappiness

They are always sad and always looking for something or someone to dump their anger on. When they found me, they got their scape goat, a common enemy

I have been in a terrible mood ever since Ahmad left the house, That's when I realized that it's of some help to think of my moods and feelings or situations as being similar to weather.

It's real and You can't change it by wishing it away. If it's dark and rainy, it really is dark and rainy, and you can't alter it. And It might be dark and rainy for two weeks in a row.

But it will be sunny one day. It isn't under one's control when the sun comes out, it comes out at its will.

It really is the same with one's mood. All these emotions are real as the weather and equally not under one's control.

But I believe it will pass, They will pass. I found peace within myself knowing that.

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