OBLIVIOUS REDEMPTION

CHAPTER 81: It's All Wrong, But It's Alright

~Sometimes life gets weird. Hang in there, it gets better. You can't calm the storm, What you can do is calm yourself, the storm will pass~

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Yasmeen:

I usually wake up every morning with a feeling of fear, for I was afraid of falling into despair over my wasted life. But these days I can't believe it, I'm moving past the feeling.

At this point it doesn't matter who was right and who was wrong. At some point, I realized that being angry is just another bad habit like smoking, and I will just poison myself without knowing it if I keep letting myself get angry

I'm less angry with Ahmad. if anything, I pity him. Because he doesn't know that you can't know happiness if your life is built around resentment. Though I'm dying to know, is it killing him like it's killing me? That the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

So many thoughts crossed my mind as i lay in bed, including Ahmad's birthday that is fast approaching. I thought about what I should do to celebrate him, a surprise party, maybe. But I crossed it out because that's exactly what I did for him last year.

Then I thought about a surprise dinner date, but then again, why would I bother myself. The last time I organized a very nice surprise birthday party for him, it ended in tears.

The only thing he told me after my effort and hard work was "You shouldn't have wasted your time and money, I don't need a birthday party. It's a complete waste of your resources" and on hearing that, I couldn't hold my tears back

I was glad I predicted he might do something bad, thats why I didn't invite important people, they would have witnessed Ahmad's ingratitude and my embarrassment

I decided not do anything for him this year. That's if I am still here, I thought

After lunch, I headed to ummy's house to spend the rest of the day with Ahmad's family.

I greeted Ummy and said Hi to everyone before taking my seat. My husband came in shortly afterwards with a gloom face

I noticed that life for Ahmad is pure survival, A struggle, A test, A competition. There is hardly space in his life left for genuine joy, peace and happiness

I am not surprised at him for being his family's puppet and for being so insecure of himself, or for deeply admiring other people's lives. Because he has spent his whole life loving himself in all the wrong ways, Thats why he can never love another soul the right way

His lies, secrets and resentment are like a cancer in his soul. They eat away what is good and leave only destruction behind.

I always wonder why being the bread winner of his family has never worked for him, he never got the respect, power and recognition that comes with it. Only a sense of belonging that is half way done

Habiba is the one calling the shots, she stole his title, She took his spotlight and it's working well for her

I watched Ahmad and his family carry on with their daily lives. Their hearts, although heavy with bitterness and anger at their failed expectations, greed and jealousy had gotten used to the solace of each other's company that often comes with years of living together, and they never stopped performing this simple ritual of their lives, Eating together on weekends

I was sitting quietly after dinner when I heard a beep on my phone, I quickly brought it out and I saw a message from my favorite person, Anonymous