OBLIVIOUS REDEMPTION

CHAPTER 86: My Bleeding Wounds

~There is only one kind of happiness, but misfortune comes in all shapes and sizes. Happiness is an allegory, unhappiness a story~

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Saleem

I have lost everything, I couldn't believe how my beautiful life plummet to the ground at an instant. Calamity came for me and assumes the shape that will be sure to hurt me most.

I guess hardships don't wait until you're ready. One day you're the hammer, the next day the nail.

I am sure even the Angels keep weeping in my soul, For the way they couldn't save me from myself nor the devilish things I do unwillingly

All my blessings and achievements turn to be a curse. But then again, perhaps the whole human race is cursed, and I'm simply in the lower echelon and therefore lose everything first.

I feel dismayed, unjustly attacked and hated on all sides by my wife and Sugar maama

Sugar Maama has destroyed me. She seduced me with a sweet voice, spoke kind words, and stroked my hair to lower my guard, to make me trust her, to trick me. She sullied my body, my voice, my heart, remade me as a terrifying monster, she turned me into her minion. She was a disfigured phantom wearing a mask

Shock is when language and emotion get overwritten by trauma's numbing code. I was going into shock, The pain of losing everything wasn't getting any better, and I thought that I would probably black out before I found out how this was going to end. Just as well I was never particularly good at finishing things.

When I left Ameerah's house, I had no where to go. I called the few people I know,  asking if I could spend a few nights at their place, but most of them came up with excuses. Only a few said yes, but when I showed up with a child, they changed their minds immediately. I bet this boy is going to be my doom and downfall

I rented an affordable one room apartment and sat there and just suffered for a couple of days. I suffered there until I was strong enough to face the fact that I have lost everything

Unfortunately, everything in the apartment is falling apart, one after the other. Yesterday was the heating system, the day before was a plumbing issue and today it's the roofing. Plus my child has a fever. I took him to a clinic and spent a lot on him.

This boy gives me sleepless nights, he cries a lot and is very picky with food. I am struggling to put a decent roof over our heads and food in our mouths, but he doesn't seem to get it

Ever since he came into my life, My Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer I dwell on my misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm me. So I started writing again, but the child never let me write in peace. I barely write as much as a paragraph with him around

I stood by the mirror and take a look at my self, and I couldn't even recognize me. Apart from the weight I have lost, I look tired and worn out and miserable

These days, No one is adequate to comprehending the misery of my lot. Fate obliges me to be constantly in movement, in pursuit for a means of livelihood and from the restlessness of my destiny I never acquired one. I have lost all my friends and connections, Fain would I lay down, miserably every night for I envy those who enjoy their lives

In days that follow, I discover that anger is easier to handle than grief. So I became angry at myself, our child and his mother

Sleepless in this bed I made, I realized that this misery and sadness may linger on through out my life. I felt like pressing a pillow to the child's head and suffocate him to death when I remembered that his mother is elsewhere enjoying herself with somebody else while I suffer. I managed to push the terrible thought out of my head when I picked up my pen and started writing