OBLIVIOUS REDEMPTION

CHAPTER 43: She Got Flowers

~We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it to the full. No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted~

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Yasmeen

There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire, The other is to gain it.

I realized that, The worse feeling in the world is knowing that you've gotten what you wanted and realizing that it is toxic, It's not good for you, and you are not happy

The feelings that hurt most, the emotions that sting most, are those that are real. The longing for impossible things, precisely because you thought they were possible. Nostalgia for what was, the desire for what could have been, regret over making the wrong choices, dissatisfaction with the life you are living. All these half-tones of the soul's consciousness create in us a painful landscape, an eternal sunset of what we are

But living with regrets is like driving a car that only moves in reverse. To regret one's own experiences is to arrest one's own development.

So I decided not to waste my time in regretting something I cannot change. For If I'm going to have hope, I'm going to have to learn to endure disappointment.

After breakfast, I did my chores, took a shower, made lunch, and got ready to spend the rest of the day at Ummy's just as Ahmad has instructed me. I was about to step out of the house when he stopped me

"Where are you going to" he asked

"To Ummy's house" I answered

"Is that why you are wearing a big veil and covering everywhere? It's not nice. See how you're wearing the veil like you're going to war, loosen up" he said, with creased eyebrows

"Ummy is western oriented, she wouldn't mind even if you go to her house without covering your hair" he told me

"Are you sure? because most in-laws mind" I said

"Yes, Ummy is different. My sisters and herself cover their hair only when they feel like it. Change that veil to a smaller one" He said

I did as I was told and headed to Ummy's with Ahmad trailing behind me, but when I entered the house, I couldn't find her at her usual sitting place. So I went to her room

I walked into the room just in time to see her choking from the flames she is suffocating himself with

So much for western oriented I thought. For as far as I know, There are no native doctors In the western culture. But here we are, with Ummy burning some dried weeds in an incense burner and suffocating himself with it.

She got the mixture of weeds from a native doctor/ritualist from somewhere very far. It is of great value to her because she believes it's protection against witchcraft, evil eye, misfortune and bad luck. She also believes that it brings good luck and good fortune. What a belief

After finishing her session, she passed the incense burner to habiba and the mixture of weeds wrapped in a small ragged nylon so that she could also perform the ritual and pass it to the next person.

She took a few minutes to calm herself down, and then she began.

"My friends daughter "safina" left her husband's house yesterday, she has finally put an end to her suffering. Her husband hits her, but she couldn't find the courage to leave until now" Ummy said

"Our cousin is also divorced, because her husband felt she was not being obedient enough to his children and sisters. Though she has also endured a lot, her husband takes his sisters and mother to lunch but he never takes her. I think he was not being fair to her" Habiba told us