OBLIVIOUS REDEMPTION

CHAPTER 80: The Light To Her Darkness

~Life throws challenges and every challenge comes with rainbows and lights to conquer it~

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Yasmeen

When we're young, we think that Love and Hate live on opposite sides of the street from one another. But as we get older, we realise they're actually next door neighbours with paper thin walls.

Over the months, I have learnt that Marriage isn't a game or a love affair. It isn't even a honeymoon, It's a job. A long hard job, at which both partners have to work, harder than they've worked at anything in their lives before. If it's a good marriage, it changes, it evolves, it keeps on getting better. I've seen it with my own mother and father. But a bad marriage can dissolve in a welter of resentment and acrimony. I've seen that too, in my own miserable and disastrous attempt at making Ahmad happy.

And it's usually not one person's fault. It's the sum total of a thousand little irritations, disagreements, idiotic details that in a sound alliance would simply be disregarded, or forgotten in the healing act of making love.

My husband has turned so wicked. Such a classic case of resentment and ambivalence. The hate in him is as vast as space, all meteors, no atmosphere.

And all the time the line of force which bound me to him stretched and vibrated, so does my heart in secret haemorrhage gushed blood.

My mind floats like ash. I blame myself most cruelly. The whole world seems tilted, my inner ear displaced by a hole where my spouse used to be.

I am but a stranger, as we both are now to each other. Lonely inside our separate skins, bearing our own pain in solitude. For my part, I have found that walking soothes it, and that, given luck, sometimes we find one to walk beside us even if it's at least for a little while. I had anonymous, I carry him along. In my phone of course

Most times I walk from darkness to light, From light back to darkness again. From unknown to known, Known back to unknown

Here I am today, five hours away from Ahmad at a retreat organized by my office, away from the hurt, pain and despair he inflicts on me. It feels good, I love the experience and the peace. I got to meet and interact with new people, plus I made new friends

I was having lunch with my colleagues when I heard my phone ringing, my heart skipped a beat when I saw the caller ID. The horror when I realized it's my husband calling. I took a deep breath before hitting the answer button

"Why the hell is the door to your room locked?" He asked, as soon as I picked up

"Oh my! Do you want to use the room?" I asked, with concern 

"That's not the point, why is the room locked?" He repeated the question

"I swear I never thought you'd use it, that's why I locked it. I'm so sorry" I told him

"Not in my house, you're not allowed to lock any doors in my house. What if something happens to the room? How am I going to be able to get in?" He said

"I'm so sorry I locked the door to my room" I replied

"You cannot lock the door to your room as long as it's in my house, my house my rules. Now you have to send the keys to me as soon as possible" he said sternly

"How? I'm five hours away from you. But I'm coming home in just a few days, can't it wait?" I asked

"I don't care, figure it out. But I need those keys, and it can't wait. You can DHL it or something" he said bitterly