OBLIVIOUS REDEMPTION

CHAPTER 26: Enslaved

~The only real prison is fear, and the only real freedom is freedom from fear. From every mountainside, Let freedom ring~

************************************

Yasmeen:

It's been just a few weeks but I can write a book about Ahmad and his family

Ever since I set foot in this house, I, Ummy and her children have been competing over Ahmad's attention, like co wives trying to outshine one another in order to secure a permanent place in his heart.

And the thing is, they don't want a piece of Ahmads heart, they want the whole of it

These days, all they talk about is what we are doing wrong or what I have done wrong. Their lives are centered around judging me and Ahmad and our life decisions. And Ummy never fails to remind Ahmad of all the things she has done for him since the day he was born, whenever he tries to do something good for me.

I and my husband live in constant fear, fear of not wanting to do anything that might offend Ummy or any of his siblings and earn ourselves a scold from Ummy herself. I did everything with caution

Being too careful can be more destructive than being utterly careless because we became too careful, and so occupied in being careful that we are sure to stumble over something.

And just like that Ahmad grudged the very fire in his house, his house is like a cabin where the fire is out and there are no blankets on the floor

Ahmad is one of those guys that are driven by two principal impulses, either by love or by fear.

He is like Ummy's little prisoner and she has refused to set him free. She has instilled a certain kind of fear in him, And he is pushed around by those fears in his mind.

He refuses to be led by the dreams in his heart. He is not brave enough to Live the Life of his Dreams according to his vision and purpose. Instead, he choses to waste his entire existence trying to fulfill the expectations and opinions of others.

He is a man that doesn't have a mind of his own. Is He really a man? I asked myself, For The first duty of a man is to think for himself, but Ummy is the one that is doing the thinking for Ahmad

And the scary thing is, Ummy is not ready to liberate Ahmad. Though, Freedom is not something that anybody can be given. Freedom is something people take, and people are as free as they want to be

Maybe Ahmad does not really want freedom, because freedom comes with a lot of responsibilities, and most people are frightened of responsibilities.

Besides, Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make your own mistakes and learn from them.

Sometimes I wonder if ummy even loves Ahmad at all, because Sometimes love is freedom, absolute freedom. Not being freed from someone you see as a competition, someone she fears will steal Ahmad from her, someone that could open his eyes to the real definition of unconditional love. And that person is none other than his dear wife.

I decided to stop worrying about Ahmad's family and what might become of me in the near future when they finally succeed in turning him against me. Because worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength, carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.

Right now, all I want to do is to rest my eyes on green meadows. I want to sit on green grass under the shade of a green tree and sleep until sunrise. But I can't, because Ahmad wants us to spend the day at Ummy's. These days, I don't even have time for myself because we spend most of the day at my in-laws house.