OBLIVIOUS REDEMPTION

Chapter 10: The Color Of My Grief

🔘The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment or things to fall into place, and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter 🔘

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Aaliyah:

"Black"

black is the color of my grief.

As the day breaks into a beautiful morning, I buried my head under the darkness of my pillow and pretended it was night. I couldn't see the point of getting up, because I have nothing to look forward to.

Have you ever felt that you are trapped in solitary confinement under an annoyingly-low ceiling painted with cloudy figures of people?

Have you ever felt that the sky is made of cement, and so close to you that you cannot bear its weight on your heart?

Have you ever felt that breathing is hard and painful? That you needed to run away and leave everything behind?

Have you ever lost your dreams? Felt loneliness was eternal?

That's how I feel right now because I literally don't know what I am to Ammar, but I am far from being a life partner or a lover. I am more like his nurse and a caregiver or better yet his slave, which is an entirely different kind of relationship

"He wouldn't talk to me. He would seem like he was constantly angry at me, even If I didn't do anything wrong. At first I didn't really understand why, but I'm starting to think maybe it's because I am a constant reminder of his loss and inability to walk

I don't expect Ammar to be perfect, but I expected him to be at least human. People aren't always what you want them to be. Sometimes they disappoint you or let you down, but you have to give them a chance first. You can't just meet someone and expect them to be everything you're looking for and then be angry when they're not every hope and aspiration you projected onto them. It's foolish to believe that someone will be what you imagine them to be. And sometimes, when you give them a chance, they turn out to be better than you imagined. Different, but better.

For the past three weeks, all I do is cook, feed him, clean his mess and put up with his insults, tantrums and emotional abuse. I don't take it personally, because I know it would come to pass. But It's safe to say that Ammar is a bitter soul.

But I refuse to be sad or hateful, for There is no beauty in sadness, and No relief in hate. All I care about is making right the wrong I have done, and maybe I'll put an end to all his bullshit

Like my mom has always told me "Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart" that's why I have accepted Ammar wholeheartedly and I only focus on how to make our marriage work

After gathering enough courage and giving myself some mental support, I dragged myself out of bed. I showered and headed to the dining table fully refreshed and Letting myself pretend that I am actually happy for a moment.

I found Ammar already seated. Freshly bathed and looking as handsome as always.

Oh, he does look like a deity, the perfect balance of danger and charm. He is at the same time distant because of his demonstrated flawlessness, and possessing such strength of character that he was dismaying and at the same time utterly attractive in an enticing and forbidden way.

Ammar is tall and broad. He had the perfect amount of stubble on his jawline, and those eyes are to-die for, deep brown and piercing. Then there was his hair, thick, black and ideal for sliding fingers through. I didn't want to take my eyes off him, but I know better than to stare.

"Good morning" I greeted Ammar

"Donkey work suits you really well. Infact, that's what you're built for. Keep it up dummy" and that's the reply I got for my good morning

I ignored it. I went straight to the kitchen and started making his breakfast.

I made Ammar his favorite "pancakes with whipped cream on top" just the way Walter makes it, even better.

When I was done, I served Ammar immediately. But unfortunately, he was busy on his phone.

I didn't want it to go stale, so I called out his name several times but he didn't hear a word I was saying.

I strained my neck and quickly glanced at his phone to see the reason he is absent minded.

Boom.......... Ammar is busy staring at a woman's picture, his dead ex "Fatima".

Ammar caught me right in the act, he yelled "leave me alone, what the hell do you want from me ugly duckling?"

He startled me, My trembly arms let loose the cup of orange juice I was holding. It slipped and landed on his laps.

I quickly grabbed a napkin and placed it on his laps in an attempt to wipe off the liquid I have earlier spilled. My butt smacked his face in the process and when he attempted to move backwards, My chest collided with his laps.

I quickly looked up to find Striking brown eyes that are glued to mine and a strong jaw.

Ammar hissed, "Why do you always throw yourself all over me every chance you get? He questioned, not breaking the eye contact

I quickly looked away, breaking the eye contact.

"Sorry" I said, swallowing loudly, after a poor attempt at a sentence. He really must think that I am mentally handicapped and dumb just as he has assumed.

I suddenly feel a pair of lips brush against my ear and I freeze, my pulse instantly racing.

Your eyes........., he whispered back, with his warm breath fanning over my lips. He couldn't complete the sentence because it looks like he is under my spell.

Hypnotized, He just lifted his hand and brushed over my cheek as if wondering how a human being could be this beautiful

He suddenly jolted out of his day dream and screamed

"Get off me, Give me some space. Your smell is suffocating me, leave me alone ugly duckling.

I bounced back on my feet and quickly made my way into the house leaving him all by himself.

After calming myself down, I decided to ignore the fact that I saw him staring at his ex. Because he is only human and the wound is still fresh, I'll let him grieve.

I went back to check up on him after a while, but he wasn't there. I wonder where he's off to, I don't know why I never see him when he leaves or when he comes back.

He just pops up whenever he wants, at least he spends the night at home these days. It's better than not seeing him at all.

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Hey There Lovelies ❤️
I will be introducing new characters soon, what do you think? YAH or NAH????

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