Fifty Shades Of Love, Sex And Tears

Chapter 28 - Hard Conversations

Christian's POV
We were sitting on the couch near but not too close to each other. I took a deep breath, I couldn't just attack her, I needed to be gentle and let her do the talking.

"I'm sorry about not coming home yesterday." I began, remembering what Elliot had said in the past, 'apologise even when you're not in the wrong'. I turned to face her, "You were busy, it's OK." She quietly spoke, and I shook my head moving closer to her. "No Char, it was not OK. You asked me to come home and I didn't." Charlotte smiled, a small one, whispering "I did."

"Talk to me, why did you?" I asked, not wanting to admit that I knew exactly what had happened just yet.

"I had a rubbish day," she reiterated. "Char, what happened?" I urged her again not able to deal with the short answers for much longer. She shrugged again, why can't she tell me?

"Charlotte, I know something happened, just talk to me please." I sounded desperate, "Stuff happened," she dodged the truth again. "You can tell me, anything." I said trying to convince her. She smiled turning to me, so we were now face to face. I sat their waiting for her to speak, she would seem to be about to start but would close her mouth, until eventually she did.

"Things got too much, that's all." Her voice was quiet, she had tears forming in her eyes as she buried her face in her hands. "Don't hide from me," I whispered lifting her face so I could see her. "What got too much, baby?" I was trying to help, but was I really?

"Just... work and the pressure and just..." She stuttered, hardly breathing. I placed my hands on her arms, "Just what Char." I pressed, rubbing her arms gently. Tears began to fall again leaving her cheeks tear stained, her voice went quiet almost silent. "You didn't come home."

It was my fault, it always is, always has been my fault.

I pulled her towards me and held her. I'd never seen her like this, her breathing was becoming quick and shallow, she was shaking and crying all because of me.

"Charlotte please," I whispered in her ear, "baby please breathe for me." I tried calming her down, I needed her to calm down because I had no idea what was happening. Was this a panic attack? "Char, breathe with me please." I tried to get her to copy mine, but I wasn't working so I just held her and stroked her hair in an attempt to calm her and me down.

I sat holding her for easily 45 minutes, we were silent apart from the occasional sniffle and cough. At regular intervals I would ask if she was alright and remind her it was going to be OK, only receiving a small nod in response.

Eventually Charlotte's voice filled the great room, "And then I couldn't find a bottle opener." She giggled uncontrollably, and I sat there confused, "It just tipped the iceberg." She continued once she stopped laughing. "That would tip me over too," I joked not knowing what else to say. She lifted her head up to face mine and whispered simply, "I had a panic attack." I nodded but didn't let go of her.

"Because of everything and me," I whispered back.

"It all got too much and then I wanted to see you and yeah." It was my fault. "No, it wasn't Christian," I said that out loud. "You help me," she plainly said but I didn't understand. "I used to get them a lot before I met you, Christian Grey." She moved her hand to the side of my face, and I leant into it. "Aren't I meant to be comforting you?" I questioned placing my hand on hers.

She shrugged, "I was mess before you." How? She always seems so put together. I have so many questions that mainly involve what happened, I know about her parents and that was a big event in her life so surely having anything else happen to her would be cruel and unfair.