"Do not teach me how to fight when I don't know what I'm fighting for!"
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The first year in college was a shit show for Kara which almost ruined her remaining years. With high hopes, she believes second year will be fun and calm for her. Not until...
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Myra's mouth is still open as I tell her Ivan has an evil twin. She's been squealing loudly. "They really look alike?" She asks for the tenth time.
"They're clones, literally. They talk and act the same way." I wipe off my tears and she sighs heavily.
"I can't believe there's another version of Ivan; much worse and hotter. Damn, I have to see him."
"Don't," I warn. "Am I not supposed to feel bad? Why am I just thinking of everything that happened? I'm fucked up, Myra. Was it Sean I fell in love with or Ivan? Who was my first?"
"So you're saying you wouldn't even know if the two are standing here? Is it that confusing?"
"Wait until you see them and Sean starts to talk like Ivan. You'd be so confused. I knew his voice sounded familiar when he talked to Ivan on the phone." I sigh.
"My sister and I used to prank my mom on the phone too with our voices. So I'm not surprised he can talk like Ivan. He's rough in my head and I like rough," she giggles. "He's the one who popped your cherry. Girl, that's messed up. I'm sure Ivan must be fuming so bad. Do you feel guilty?"
"I don't know, Myra, because I loved it. It was the best thing and yeah, he was rough...in a sweet way. It's like he knew what I wanted. I know if it were really Ivan, maybe he would've stopped it because we never get that far. He always stops me. This felt different and I was so happy thinking Ivan finally changed, not knowing it was his... stupid brother." Myra stands up from her bed and sighs heavily.
"Who do you love?" I bat my eyelids at her. "Sorry, I know this is confusing for you." She sighs and sits back on her bed. "But I want to see him, though."
"Just imagine looking at Ivan. There's no difference." I lie down on my bed and rethink the moment. My phone rings and I see Ivan's call. I sit up on the bed and answer the call. "Who is this?" I ask.
"Really? Are we going this far?"
"No, I really want to know who I'm speaking to," I say. "Is this you or Sean?"
"Why would Sean have my phone?" Good question, but he said so himself that Sean is crazy. "I called to make sure you're okay. I'm so sorry for letting this happen. I don't know how to fix this. I've been thinking about it and I... I don't know." He goes silent on the phone. I look at Myra, who is curiously looking at me.
