Blue Eyes & Black Coffee. (WomanxWoman)

XXVIII

TW: mentions of rape and sexual assault.

UNEDITED

"Nichole, I don't know what came over me, I-"

"Sh..it's okay. You were protecting me." Nichole whispered as she ran the warm rag across Angelica's face. They were sitting in the bath, both of them going straight upstairs after getting home.

Angelica was quiet the entire ride home, Nichole taking over the wheel because she knew Angelica wasn't okay right now. Something was off and she knew it wasn't about them losing the baby.

"Angelica..daddy, what's wrong? You haven't been yourself ever since starting this case. I know the baby's death has been hard but I thought-"

Nichole couldn't even finish talking, Angelica suddenly sobbing loudly as she laid her face on her shoulder. Nichole's own tears welled as Angelica broke down, curling into both herself and her wife as she lost her composure completely.

"Talk to me, Angie..please.."

"You're gonna hate me. I didn't tell you right away because we had just lost the baby and-"

"What is it?" Nichole asked. Angelica looked up at her through her tears and gripped her hands.

"A lot has been piling on and I keep hiding it from you because not only will it hurt you, but I also have all these memories coming back to me and it's just.."

"What, baby? What happened?" Nichole asked, wiping her face quickly. Angelica sighed, looking defeated before sniffing.

"U-um, well the first thing is that your aunt. She left a voice message on our house phone the day after we lost the baby and said that your mom died so your sister is fully living with her now. She said she's only telling you because once Rebecca is eighteen the same way you're gone, she wants her gone too. I didn't tell you because you were already so depressed, baby. I'm sorry. Please don't hate me." Angelica sobbed before laying her head in her hands.

Nichole stared at her wife for a second in confusion. She tried understanding why Aunt Delores would call just to say that. She didn't blame Angelica from keeping it from her.

"Don't mind that. What memories?" Nichole asked. Angelica shook her head and looked away from her wife.

"I think you're the only person who's never asked me why I was into such..stuff." She sighed before sniffing.

"I didn't feel the need to ask for an explanation." Nichole breathed. Angelica looked over at her wife and sniffed, before wiping her red nose with the back of her hand.

"When I first came to America with my parents, I didn't know English too well. None of us did except for my mom, but she left. Eventually I learned easier than my dad. He still doesn't understand English, but um...when he first started working in America he had this friend who used to come over a lot. He was like the typical American guy, you know?

Sometimes my dad would leave him with me when he had to work overtime. Back then he couldn't afford a babysitter and so um..."

"What happened?" Nichole whispered dreadfully. Angelica sighed and sniffed, before swallowing hard.

"It started off with movies..violent movies like all those horror stuff that was out back then..I was never exposed to those things so him doing that really opened a new thing for me..but then it went from there to porn, either regular or violent ones. He used to make me sit on his lap and watch with him and then as I got older he made me reenact them. He took my virginity in both places, but that was light."

Nichole could tell that Angelica was struggling to talk and she swallowed hard before touching her shoulder, causing Angelica to jump aggressively.

"If you can't tell me it's okay."

"No. I have to. I have to." She whispered back.

"Sometimes my dad would have to leave for days at a time so he would leave me with Geo and his wife. His wife was nothing but a mindless alcoholic after his money. He said it himself. So he would take me into his den that he built in the backyard and would do things to me. Whether it was candle wax, or tying me up and hurting me with stuff. Sometimes he'd penetrate me with beer bottles."

"Jesus Christ." Nichole sobbed as she pulled Angelica into her body. Angelica sniffed, trembling as she clung to her lovers naked body.

"When did it end? Was he arrest-"

"I killed him. I killed him and his wife helped me cover it up. Then she went to jail saying she did it as a debt to me because one day she found the photos he took of me and confronted him about it, and he beat her to a pulp and then made her watch as he hurt me..so I killed him that night. I was thirteen." She whispered.

Nichole stared at her in shock, the tears streaming down her face as Angelica stared into space with a blank mask as the memories flooded her mind.

"He had her tied up to a chair and he raped me in front of her. He put things inside of me and cut my skin open. It's why I have so many scars. They're not from work. They're from him. So while he was asleep next to both of us, I took the pillow, straddled his waist and suffocated him. His wife woke up to him struggling and pulling her hair, but she just watched me as I suffocated him to death.

He made us sleep in the same bed that night, for Gods sake. I wouldn't have saved him either. So together, we broke apart his bones. I instructed her on what to do because of all the videos he used to make me watch. We buried him in the back of a cement factory. We would've gotten away with it if she didn't break her nail in the dirt.

So she said it was her. She was in jail for a while, and once I left the academy and started as a rookie sometimes I'd watch her. She didn't recognize me, but she acted nice. Said she was doing time for tax fraud but I was the only one who knew it wasn't true. Before she died, she had given me an envelope asking me to give it to a young girl named Angelica Lopez.

It was his entire estate. He had left everything to her in the will, but she couldn't claim it and had to pass it on. She didn't have any kids with him so she left everything to me but didn't trust anyone enough to give it to me. Little did she know..."

"Oh my God." Nichole cried as she covered her mouth. Angelica sobbed with her, shaking her head. She finally felt relieved. She felt as if an entire weight was lifted off her chest.

"Is that why you don't let me touch you all the time?" Nichole asked after a while.

"Yeah. Sometimes it becomes too much."

"Is that why you're capable of hurting people?"

"I think so. But it's why I became an agent. I do it the legal way."