𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧 𝗢𝗨𝗧 [𝙴𝙽𝙷𝙰𝚂𝙴𝚁𝚈𝙴 #1] 𝙹𝙰𝚈

45.

Sunghoon's

I look at Sungjae who was peacefully dozing off now. Unlike the past days when he was having a hard time sleeping, this time, thankfully, he can sleep so easily and uninterrupted. Sungjae hates hospitals. He said he doesn't want to be in that place anymore. Gladly, the doctors said it was okay for him to be home-admitted.

Natatakot siya, iyon ang sabi niya. Ako rin, natatakot para sa kapatid ko.

The city and its air would not be that friendly anymore with his state, so our parents decided that he stay at our resthouse here in Lucena. Fresher air.

I hope Sungjae will be better. I don't mind spending all my days taking care of him until he recovers fully. I don't mind missing school or even stopping for good until he becomes okay.

My phone, on the side table of the bed, vibrated aggressively for a call.

It's her.

Lately, I've been missing her call because Sungjae has been at his worst, especially these past few days. Bea and some of my friends from the university were reaching out to me but I can't steal time to talk to them.

I would lie if I say that I don't miss her.

"Kuya, I can't breathe again." Sungjae, in his most feeble voice. Agad kong ibinaba muli ang phone ko sa lamesa. Not again, please.

I immediately went outside to call for the nurses and the head physician. As soon I lead them as they entered the room, I went outside again.

I can never be brave with this. I can never be brave in seeing how he suffers.

"How is he, Doc?" Agad kong tanong pagkalabas nila sa pinto. They don't look good. It's so obvious that Sungjae's not okay but I just cannot think how is suffering right now. He's too young.

"He's getting wo-"

"Is there really no other way?" I know I was being impolite for cutting him off but I don't think I would ever want to hear that word. He's getting worse. I know. We all know.

"The surgery is the only way." He answered.

Just like Mom and Ate Sungjin, I don't want Sungjae to undergo that fatal surgery. Even the doctors were being honest with the danger of it. Dad affirmed to them as they recommend it as the only way for Sungjae to get better. I can't blame him. That's really the only way.

"Did Mom and Dad already talk about it again?" I asked. Right now, I can't even think and decide what choice do I stand in.

The surgery is very dangerous but he's getting worse.

"They are finally considering it. Your Dad was just waiting for your Mom's full affirmation." I hate being in between. I hate dilemmas.

Why does he need to suffer like that?

I went inside again to check on him. He was now sitting, with his back leaning on the soft pillow. He smiled at me and that broke my heart more.

"Kuya. I can breathe again now. " Naglakad pa ako palapit sa kama at umupo sa tabi.

"You're so brave, Sungjae."

"I'm not." Sagot niya sa malungkot na boses. "I am scared. I'm scared to die." Dagdag niya. I immediately hugged him.

You will not die.

"That will never happen, Sungjae." My voice was a bit shaky but I tried not to make it obvious.

After almost an hour, Sungjae was able to sleep peacefully again. I read him his favorite book until he dozed off. Narinig ko rin mula dito sa kwarto na may dumating na sasakyan. Mom and Dad told me na bukas pa sila makakabalik dito so I wonder why they're here now.