Toxic

Toxic: Chapter #6 | Reassure Me Love

Zach's Present

☣ ♡ ☣

I have to set my pen down then because my hands are trembling uncontrollably. I feel a hand being placed on each of mine, the fingers lacing with my own and I look up to see Giana looking down at me, her eyes full of love and reassurance, "You're doing amazing My Love. I'm beyond proud of you." I feel tears come to my eyes and pull her onto my lap again before allowing my tears to increase and cascade down my cheeks. She adjusts to have me wrap my arms around her waist and brings her hands to my cheeks drying the tears with her thumbs and kisses my forehead. I lean into the kiss and melt at the tender way she wipes my tears.

That's something I have always loved about her is her tenderness. Whether it's how she says things or how she interacts with me.

That's how we sit for I don't know how long but I do know that when I open my eyes again the sun is about to set. "Giana Love? Would you stand up for a moment please?"

She nods standing up and I follow suit before leading her over to the window. Sunsets and sunrises are beautiful pastel paintings which is something I learned from Alec. I hug Giana from behind resting my chin on her shoulder wrapping my arms around her waist. She smiles big melting into my embrace, and I'm reminded how much I love her.

Not just because she's beautiful but that is part of why. If you saw how her hair matches the orange on the horizon and yet doesn't because the two gorgeous colors can't be compared, you'd understand why I begin to play with the pieces that fell loose from her ponytail and if you saw the way the yellow of the sunset's final rays reflects in the sapphire blue of her eyes you'd understand why as soon as the sun sinks below the horizon I turn her to face me, pull her close and kiss her.

One word I have found, out of many, to be synonymous with Giana is reassurance. Her smile, laugh and touch reassure me. I take hold of her hand again and look back towards the still open journal on the desk. She puts her hand on my cheek guiding my gaze back to her and kisses me lovingly which I return with equal love. When we part, she smiles, making me melt because her smile is one of my favorite things on earth.

Her voice is soft when she speaks. "Do you think you are going to go back to writing?" I think for a moment and am silent.

When I finally speak, I give a subtle nod. "Yes. I am."

She runs her fingers through my hair. "Is there anything I can do?"

I look at her and tilt my head before replying, "Just having you here in the room helps but it's still hard. However, if–when–I need to be reminded that I am strong enough to do this or need to be reassured I can turn to you, and you'll be willing to remind and reassure me I know I can reach that back cover."

She smiles and nods. "I meant it when I said I'll be here for each and every letter, My Love. If you need to be reminded or reassured just say so and I'll do so."

After we share another loving kiss, I go back to the desk and take a seat while she resumes her place in the armchair picking up her kindle. This time I take a deep breath in, hold it and slowly let it out. I repeat this process four more times before rolling my shoulders and picking up my pen. My hands don't shake as badly as if they're saving the shaking for after I finish the next part. Well, whatever the reason I'm grateful as I turn the page my hand hovering for a few moments before slowly lowering it until the tip on my pen is on the page and moving in slow strokes.