Toxic

Toxic: Chapter #26 | Admiration

Zach's Present

☣ ♡ ☣

I gently set my pen down in the middle of the journal and lean my elbows on the desk, taking several deep breaths. Writing in the journal is helping but it is exhausting going through these roller coaster emotions. Once I have steadied myself, I turn my head to look at Giana who is deeply immersed in her book. I know just by looking at her how focused she is on what she's reading because she gets a very intense look on her face when she's invested in a story.

I allow my eyes to roam over her and a smile to adorn my face. Giana is so beautiful inside and out. I have asked myself many times what I did to deserve her and then I ask myself if I believe in fate. I assure you I have no idea what I did to deserve her, but I do know I believe I was fated to be with her.

Enough time has passed that the sun is setting again, and I watch as the sun's rays hit her hair. Like flames of a fire, bursts of sunlight and drops of sunbeams, her hair shimmers its beautiful shade. It's a mixture of red and orange but really there's no name that captures the exact color. The sun also catches her ring and I inaudibly gasp, my heart soaring when I remember the day that I picked it out. I continue letting my eyes roam over Giana, over my wife. I could look at her forever and never get tired of it.

I am reminded of a song then that has been on my mind a lot lately. It's the song Something Good from the Sound of Music.

♫♫♫

Perhaps I had a wicked childhood
Perhaps I had a miserable youth
But somewhere in my wicked, miserable past
There must have been a moment of truth

For here you are
Standing there
Loving me
Whether or not you should
So somewhere in my youth
Or childhood
I must have done something good

Nothing comes from nothing
Nothing ever could
So somewhere in my youth
Or childhood
I must have done something good

For here you are
Standing there
Loving me
Whether or not you should
So somewhere in my youth
Or childhood
I must have done something good

Nothing comes from nothing
Nothing ever could
So somewhere in my youth
Or childhood
I must have done something

Something good

♫♫♫

I have always loved musicals especially Oklahoma, but my second favorite musical is The Sound of Music. With that on my mind I softly say, "Giana, love?"

She looks over immediately and I realize that it doesn't matter how invested she is in her book, if I need her, she'll be there. "Yes, Zach love?"

I smile as I get to my feet and make my way over to her, offering my hand. "I'd like to have some time with you. I could use another break."

She smiles and takes my hand, setting her Kindle aside. "More tea and cuddles?"

I grin and nod. "Those, and I thought maybe a movie?"

Giana tilts her head and smiles fondly. "Which musical?"

It never ceases to amaze me just how well Giana knows me, even after all this time and it brings a flush to my cheeks. I am so beyond lucky to call her mine and to be called hers. "The Sound of Music."

Her lips graze my cheek as she grins. "That sounds perfect."

I chuckle as we head downstairs into the main area of the cabin. While I grab a blanket and pull up the movie, Giana makes the tea. I didn't used to drink it as much as I do now but there's something so calming about it. It's like liquid calm that seeps into my pores as it warms my throat with each swallow.

A few minutes later, the two of us are curled up on the couch together, watching the movie. I have my arm around her, grinning ear to ear as I play with her hair. Giana sighs contentedly and nuzzles her nose against my neck, the feeling eliciting a happy soft hum from me. I love her so damn much and I am so damn grateful for her.

I watch the movie, but despite asking to watch it, I can't help but find myself listing in my mind everything I love and admire about my wife. Giana has always been the most beautiful, kind, selfless and compassionate woman I've ever known. In some ways she is those things more so than my mother and even ZuZu. So, I can't help but think about all the things I admire about Giana, my fingers carding through her hair in a soothing gesture of love. How can I not have deep admiration for the woman who saved me and lit up my life?