Toxic

Toxic: Chapter #38 | Beauty From Pain

Zach's Past

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Every moment I spent with Giana was a moment I treasured and although our dates like dinner and the baseball game were phenomenal, it was the ones at home that I loved the most. I was super excited for the next one. True to her word, Giana and I set up a date night where we planned to have a Bring it On movie marathon. I could barely contain my excitement. "The moves they do in these movies are insane and I adore them. Like for Bring it On: In It to Win It their nationals routine is stellar. I know all the moves!" I rambled excitedly, my hands gesticulating wildly with passion.

Giana watched me and grinned ear to ear. "You're absolutely adorable. I can't wait to watch them."

I settled on the couch, barely able to sit still. I was so excited, and I probably would've been embarrassed by my enthusiasm, but Giana had assured me that she didn't mind a bit. So, when we queued up the first movie, Bring it On, I was entranced and couldn't tear my eyes away.

We had popcorn, candy and pop to get us through all the movies but by the time we finished, Bring it On Again, and were ready to start the third movie, Bring It On: All or Nothing, we were out of popcorn. I grabbed the bowl, and smiled as Giana kissed my cheek when I pulled from our cuddling to go get more. What I didn't realize was that as we were cuddling my shirt had gotten a bit rumpled in the back. So, when I got up to get more popcorn the tattoo was visible above the waistband of my shorts.

Giana sat up straight, her voice slightly strained. "Zach?"

I paused and looked back at her, still smiling. "Yes, Gi?"

"What's that on your hip?" She asked, her voice shaking slightly.

My smile instantly faded as I realized in that moment what she was referring to. "O-Oh um...We need popcorn." I hurried to the kitchen, my chest tightening and tears forming that then quickly slipped down my cheeks. 'Damn it!' I thought to myself. This wasn't how I wanted her to learn about the tattoo. I pulled my shirt back down to cover the tattoo back up as I set about making more popcorn. My mind began to swirl with dark thoughts about worthlessness, and how pathetic I was for not standing up to Jayden about the tattoo. I hated it and rarely looked at it and now the one person I had actually intended to show it to eventually had seen it before I was ready for her to.

I smacked my fist down on the counter and shuddered, my whole body taut like a bow string. The seconds on the microwave continued counting down as I traced the mark with my fingers, my touch feather light. It made me sick, feeling the mark of his ownership on me. I had to fight the urge to dig my nails into it. I wanted it gone. Suddenly, I hissed as my nails dug into the mark and quickly yanked my hand away, accidentally smacking it on the counter. "Fuck!" I cursed under my breath.

I stilled when I felt a warm hand close over mine, and tried to wipe the tears from my face as quickly as possible so she wouldn't see. Something cool was pressed to my stinging hand, and I realized Giana had gotten an ice pack. "Thank you," I whispered, unable to voice much more than that.

"You're welcome, Zach," she whispered back. "Here. Let me get the popcorn and I'll meet you back in the living room. Okay?"

Feeling like a failure, I simply nodded and turned to leave but stopped when I felt her press a kiss to my cheek and relaxed when she smiled softly at me. Perhaps, I hadn't ruined everything after all and perhaps she wasn't disgusted by it? A part of me wanted to run and hide, to find a sanctuary like I had found in the library but then I realized that part of what made the library a sanctuary was Giana. So, I didn't run and hide but rather I went back to the couch and curled up to wait for her return.

When Giana returned with the bowl, my hands shook as I took it from her outstretched hands.

"Here's more popcorn," Giana said as she sank down onto the couch next to me.