Toxic

Toxic: Chapter #40 | Restraint

Zach's Past

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⚠️Warning: ⚠️

This chapter contains mentions of stalking, past abuse, past sexual abuse, nonconsensual photographing, chains, nonconsensual bondage, and much more. Take care!

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We ended up getting back from the trip really late Thursday night and Friday morning there was a letter in the mailbox addressed to me from Long Beach University. I felt sick to my stomach upon seeing it. Of course, I hadn't forgotten about my education. It had been in the back of my mind this entire time but now, seeing this letter, was like a sign that my whole world was about to come crashing down. They wouldn't want me now, would they? I hadn't gone to over half the practices for cheerleading, had cheated on an exam, had barely kept my grades up and then moved away without completing a single final. I hung my head as my eyes burned with tears.

I was now almost convinced that the letter was their official way of saying that they were taking my scholarship away. I mean it was the end of the second week of August already and last year I moved into the dorms in July. I hadn't spaced or forgotten anything about school. Like I said, it was always in the back of my mind like a looming, foreboding and ominous shadow.

A few weeks ago, I received an email that, because of a gas leak on campus, they wouldn't be opening the university back up for students until the second week of September. I wasn't sure whether or not I felt relieved if I felt much of anything at all.

I took the letter inside with me and plopped down on my bed staring at it with utmost dread. My intense focus meant that I didn't hear Giana come into the house. I startled and whipped my head up when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. "Oh," I said softly. "Hey."

She smiled at me and stepped into the room. "Hey, Zach."

Despite the way my gut was in knots, I managed a smile in return. "How's my favorite person?"

She blushed, a sight that always made me chuckle. "I'm great. What about you?"

My smile faltered and then faded, my attention shifting back to the letter once more, something that didn't escape her notice. "Um..." I started but I could find no words with which to give her a reply.

"You got a letter? Who's it from?"

I beckoned her over and she came to sit next to me. I moved the letter closer so that she could see the address on the front. "It's from the university. I'm afraid it's a letter of notice that I can't return or that they're taking my scholarship away." Had it been anyone else but Giana, I don't believe I would have been able to voice those fears. Sometimes I felt guilty that I was still so hesitant with my family when I had known them my entire life and had only known Giana less than a year. I just shoved the guilt to the side to join the guilt that weighed on me daily courtesy of Jayden.

Giana took my hand and kissed the back of it. "Do you want me to open it?"

Tension I was unaware of seemed to flee my body as I nodded vigorously and handed the letter to her. "Yes. Please?"

She took it and opened it slowly. I watched silently as she slid a piece of paper out, tensed when her eyes scanned it and froze when she smiled. "Zach?"

"Yes?" I whispered, my voice hoarse with fear.

"Take a look." She handed the letter back to me and I reluctantly took it, bracing myself for the worst as my eyes immediately began scanning its contents.

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Dear Mr. Zachary Anderson, 

We're sending this letter to you to inquire about your attendance this upcoming school year. We know you're aware that you're on scholarship and we want to see if you intend to return and would still like to maintain the scholarship? If this is the case, we are going to require a few things from you.