Toxic

Toxic: Chapter #16 | Rise-In Sunlight

Zach's Present

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I carefully unclench my hands and set my pen down. My fingers are stiff from how tightly I was gripping the pen. I lean back in my chair, closing my eyes, taking slow breaths in and out.

Giana looks over, her voice soft when she speaks. "You're alright sweetheart. You're safe. I'm right here."

I feel tears come to my eyes and slowly open them before turning in my chair to look at her my voice as soft as hers. "I love you so damn much."

She smiles and gets up. She walks over to me, once again allowing me to pull her onto my lap. "I love you too, Amore mio."

I melt as she runs her fingers through my hair and then, after a few minutes of silence, I softly ask, "Sunflower?"

She looks at me. "Yes, Amore mio?"

I take a deep breath before asking, "I was wondering if I can take a break? I feel like I'm barely holding it together. It's like I'm hanging on by a thread."

She places her hand gently on my cheek. "Of course you can sweetheart. I don't expect you to do it all in one sitting. What do you say we go to bed? I'll make some tea and we can cuddle while you rest."

I beam at her. Just the thought of those things makes me relax even more. I love cuddles and I especially love them with her. There are few things in the world I love more than my wife and cuddling with her.

So, a few minutes later, we're in our bedroom, under the covers. We first changed into pajamas. Giana's pajamas are a pair of blue silk pajama shorts with black lace and a black bow, and a black lace spaghetti strap top. My pajamas are just a simple pair of black and dark blue plaid pajama pants. I already felt better just by changing clothes.

We each have a mug of hot tea in our hands, and I already feel calmer. Then, after I finish my tea, I set my empty mug on the nightstand with hers joining shortly after. It is with practiced ease, that we cuddle close intertwining our legs. I snuggle as close to her, and she as close to me as we can.

My voice is soft when I next speak. "I don't know how I would've done this without you. Thank you."

She begins to run her fingers through my hair again then softly replies, "You're welcome, Amore mio, but don't forget that this is as much you as it is me if not more. You found the strength in yourself to put your heart on those pages."

Her words make me smile. I used to think I was so weak until she reminded me that I was strong. She showed me the strength that I had always had but just didn't realize it.

I end up falling asleep not long after that. I feel completely safe, and she watches over me as I do.

My thoughts swirl between the past and the present as I sleep. My brain houses so much heartbreak, pain, and suffering. My heart houses so much love, passion, and acceptance.

Giana falls asleep about an hour after I do and I'm the first of the two of us to wake up. When I open my eyes, I see the sun shining through our bedroom window. The light catches her hair, casting a hauntingly beautiful shadow on her face. I tuck her hair behind her ear and kiss her forehead. At my kiss she stirs, slowly opening her eyes and then my beautiful Sunflower rises with the rising sun.

We have breakfast consisting of my famous white chocolate chip pancakes, hard boiled eggs, bacon, and milk. As we finish eating, I glance towards the stairs, debating.

She watches me protectively as we clean up and when we're done with the dishes, we head back up to the study. I exchange a loving kiss with my wife and head over to the desk to write. Giana takes her place in the armchair, picking up her kindle.

When I sit down to write this time, I find my hand isn't shaking and my heart skips a beat. When I said-'glanced straight through the shelf in front of me I saw movement before finding myself entranced by...her'-I was of course referring to the day I met Giana. This is why I find that it's easier for me to touch the tip of my pen to the paper and begin the next chapter of my story.

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Italian Translations:

Amore mio.
My love.