Toxic

Toxic: Chapter #22 | In Search Of Wellness

Zach's Past

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⚠️Warning: ⚠️

This chapter contains explicit language, dehumanization, degradation, rape, choking, blacking out, blood, discussion of suicidal thoughts and actions, attempted suicide, overdose and alcohol, as well as a graphic scene. See the end notes for a more detailed explanation. This has so much triggering content. Please take care!!

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True to my word, that night I went to the Rising Sun Library. It wasn't a hard promise to keep. As you already know, going to the library wasn't optional for me. I could never decide if it was a blessing or a curse.

Jayden dropped me off. I had barely gotten the door closed before he drove away. I was grateful my foot didn't get crushed by the tire.

I went straight upstairs to my usual spot and sat down. I pulled out my headphones and selected a random song. I had a plan and following my normal routine wouldn't work. Not if I was going to follow through with it to the end.

Not long after I sat down, Giana made her way up to where I was. We had dubbed it our spot. She sat next to me and tilted her head when she saw my headphones on. She didn't say anything though. I would usually put my head on her shoulder but that night I kept my distance. It had nothing to do with her. I wish I could've told her that but after a little while, I think she figured I wanted space.

So, she reached over giving my hand a quick squeeze and headed back downstairs. She took a seat at the front desk where she began to catalog and then started shelving books.

When closing time rolled around, I pulled a piece of paper out of my notebook and slid it into a copy of Romeo and Juliet. I placed a kiss on the cover and slid it between two books on the shelf. I knew only she would find it. I then stood up and made sure I had everything before heading downstairs.

Giana caught my eye before I left. I could tell she wanted to say something, but she didn't get a chance. Even if she had tried, I didn't pause long enough to let her.

I left the library, knowing it was the last time I'd go there.

Jayden was of course already waiting and as usual he was pissed. I wasn't paying much attention though, merely aware of his anger in an idle way. My thoughts were elsewhere.

Apparently that night he had decided he was up for something different. "Babe, we're going to stop here for a bit."

I looked out the window confused. He pulled off to the side of the road. I might have been scared. I should have been scared. It was pitch black out and I could barely see a thing more than a couple feet in front of me. A part of me perked up at the situation. Maybe this was when he would kill me. I mean I didn't think he'd just do so when he got so much out of me, but the thought that he might was all I needed.

Still, I had to ask. "Why?"

He grabbed my arm, his voice low. "I want to see your ass bent over the hood while I fuck you. Now get out and strip." He paused and smirked. "Better yet just pull those jeans down so they rest right under that perfect, perky ass of yours. I want to turn those supple mounds red."

I swallowed thickly, my nerves and panic rising. My eyes widened at his order. We weren't exactly in a secluded place. Anyone could show up at any time. I mean someone could drive by and see us, but I knew it wasn't optional. "Yes Jay."

We got out of the car, and I had hoped he would turn the car off. No such luck. He even left the headlights on. I left my backpack in the footwell of the front seat and made my way to the front of the car. Jayden got impatient when it took too long to get my pants undone. His hand gripped my hair and shoved me forward, my head colliding with the hood of the car. Jayden's grip only tightened further as he yanked my pants down and secured them right under my ass. I shivered in the cool air feeling more exposed than ever before. I wasn't an exhibitionist and I just wanted it to be over already.