Toxic

Toxic: Chapter #46 | A Sunflower's Meadow View

Zach's Present

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I smile to myself as I set my pen down, a smile forming on my face. I know exactly what I'm going to write next and just as always is the case when I think of what's coming next, I feel like the luckiest man in the world. I stand up and go over to Giana, my smile growing even wider. "My Sunflower?" I ask, though I know the answer.

She looks up at me and smiles back. "Of course, I'm your Sunflower."

I tilt my head, quirking a brow and chuckling softly. "Well, that's good to know, Gi Love. I was just about to ask you something."

Her cheeks redden. "Sorry, Penguin. I'm in a weird headspace. I need to switch novels."

My brow furrows slightly at that. It was not something I had ever heard her say. "Why? Is everything okay?" I had wondered if she would hide her feelings while I went through the journal, but I didn't actually believe that she would.

Giana sighs and covers her face with her hands, shaking her head.

I kneel down in front of her and place my hands on her thighs. "Talk to me sweetheart."

She shudders and softly says, "I'm worried."

"Worried about what, Gi?" I ask softly, moving my thumbs in small circles on her thighs to reassure her of my presence.

"Did I push too hard on this?" she blurts out, startling me. "Did you want to do this or was it because I pushed for you to do it? If I pushed too much, I'm so sorry."

That fear once voiced makes my heart ache with understanding. I take her hands in mine, kiss each fingertip and then the back of her hands before intertwining our fingers and looking deep into her eyes. "Oh, Giana," I whisper. "Sweetheart you didn't push too much. I promise. I have been holding this in for so long and putting it down on those pages is doing wonders for me." I take a deep breath and feel a tear slip down my cheek. "You have never forced me to do anything and that alone is one of the many reasons I love you. You have always let me be me without judgment or fear that who I am isn't good enough or that I'm less than I am."

Her eyes fill with tears. "I love you so damn much, My Penguin. I love you so much."

I smile, glad that I could reassure her, but I know something else is bothering her besides what she has already voiced. So, I pull her into my arms and kiss her forehead. "I love you too, My Sunflower. I have an idea. What would you say to a walk outside with your adoring husband?"

She smiles, leaning into the kiss I place on her forehead. She sighs softly in contentment and then replies in a soft voice, "That sounds perfect to me. I'm sorry I'm so emotional."

I shake my head and chuckle softly. "If you weren't at least a little emotional I'd be more concerned." There's a twinkle of amusement in her eyes to go with the amused smile on my face.

"True enough," she says.

"Let's go."

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We get up and walk downstairs hand in hand with our fingers intertwined. It's the most natural thing in the world for us to revolve around each other and always find some way to be connected, usually by holding hands and intertwining our fingers. We grab our jackets from the hooks by the door just in case and head outside.

We're at a small cabin in the country that we got for the very purpose of a safe haven where we live currently. It's beautiful here and I love seeing the sky, the trees, the grass and all the beauty of nature around me. It's calming to me, the serenity I have always felt here. When I'm at the cabin, I'm in my own little world. I even once compared it to Narnia. This place is its own world of beauty, a haven, and a place to call my own.