Toxic

Toxic: Chapter #77 | Trau-My-Tic

Zach's Past

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⚠️ Warning: ⚠️

This chapter contains in depth discussions of past trauma, abuse (sexual, psychological, physical, mental and emotional), rape, manipulation, love bombing, self-harm, attempted suicide, and much much more. Please take care!!!

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When it came to therapy sessions, I would go to talk with Doctor Davis weekly, sometimes even bi-weekly if needed. Occasionally I even had emergency appointments if my mind went to really dark places which I was mature enough to admit to even if I was scared, they'd commit me for it, something they never did.

This did mean, however, those evenings having dinner and watching tv with Mrs. Morrison weren't always a possibility and I felt guilty about it. I mean the times where I went with Giana to have dinner and watch tv were the best, but I made a promise to myself, my wife, my sister and my parents that I would get the help I needed, and I intended to keep that promise. Still, those appointments were hard as hell, an understatement of the century because who actually enjoyed talking about and hashing out their trauma? Not me, that was for sure.

The first session when we really dove deep into my trauma, Benji was there with me. It was hard for me to ask him to come and I felt even worse when he told me he missed a game, but Benji told me that I was more important and they had backup pitchers for a reason. ZuZu called when we were in the waiting room of Doctor Davis's office.

"Hey, Peaches," Benji said when he answered.

"Hey! So, I was thinking that we could have dinner after your game and..."

"I won't be at the game, Peaches."

ZuZu was quiet for a moment and then her voice grew a bit louder. "What do you mean, Benji?"

He glanced at me and quirked a brow. I sank lower in my seat and shrugged. "I'm in California right now and Chandler has backup pitching handled."

"Chandler?!" ZuZu exclaimed. "That's your spot though why would—"

"I think you should ask your brother."

ZuZu went silent and hardly seemed to be breathing. "Is he...?"

Benji held his phone out to me and biting my lip, I took it. "ZuZu?" I whispered.

"Zorro?!? What's wrong? Are you okay? Just tell me you need me, and I'll be on the first flight there! Hell, I will run there if I have to. You just say the word, okay?!"

I sniffled, chuckling wetly. "I'm okay, ZuZu."

"Are you really, Zorro? Why is Benji there? Talk to me please?" she pleaded.

The desperation, fear, worry and concern in her voice hurt me to hear. "I'm at my therapy appointment and Benji is here to help me talk about..." I trailed off, thinking back to what happened and realized that ZuZu didn't know. While she was my age, obviously considering we were triplets, only mom and dad, the lawyer and Mr. Arthur knew what happened that day aside from Benji.

"What's going on, Zach?" she whispered.

ZuZu never called me Zach. "Something happened when I was younger, right after grandpa died and Benji saved me. I-I don't want to talk about it over the phone, okay?"

"But—"

"Later, ZuZu. I promise but please not now, okay?"

"O-Okay." She paused and then said, "I love you so much, Zorro. You know that, right?"