Toxic

Toxic: Chapter #51 | Kneading a Masterpiece

Zach's Present

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I start fiddling with my pen, every single fiber of my being just wanting to skip over the next part, a feeling of desperation overwhelming all of my senses. I want to skip what comes next so badly. Just like it used to, my knee begins to bounce as I start fidgeting with the pen until it becomes not enough and the pen snaps, ink splattering everywhere but thankfully it misses the journal. Ignoring the mess, I end up reaching into the desk drawer and grabbing a fidget.

Giana hears the drawer open and looks over at me. She notices the ink and even without that she immediately knows that I'm not okay. She sets her Kindle aside, gets up and walks over to me, her hands coming to rest on my shoulders as she kisses the back of my neck. "Come with me, la mia anima. I know what you need."

I'm helpless to resist her request but that's okay. She would never do anything to hurt me. So, I let her lead me first to the bathroom to take a hot shower while she cleans up the ink. I use that time to try and settle my anxiety and panic, but it'll take more than that to make those things dissipate. Maybe she has another idea of how to address those feelings.

After I finish showering, she pampers me by drying me off herself with the fluffiest towel we own, helps me into a pair of pajama pants and then leads me out of the bathroom. I don't know why she has me go to the bedroom with her, but I am definitely not complaining.

Giana waits patiently while I close the door behind us before saying to me as soon as I turn to face her, "Off with your shirt."

I raise an eyebrow at her as I obediently but slowly tug my shirt off and then drop it on the floor. I offer her a smirk. "If you wanted to get me naked, all you had to do was ask." I am trying to get my nerves out, but it doesn't work, and the smirk slips off my face.

She shakes her head at me and gestures to our bed that's covered with a homemade quilt given to us for a wedding present. It's a sunflower quilt too. "I'm going to help by massaging your back. We both know how tight it gets when you're stressed."

I nod at her words and the truth of them as I go over to the bed and lay down on my stomach. I glance up towards the pillows and pull one under my chin. Giana doesn't start right away, and I hear the wooden trunk at the foot of the bed as she pulls it open. The next thing I'm aware of is my wife placing Zoe (my stuffed giraffe) under the crook of my arm while I rest my chin on my arms. "Thank you," I whisper.

Giana smiles as she straddles my hips and starts by planting a soft kiss on the back of my neck. "You're welcome." Then her hands start working on my shoulders first. She knows where every knot of tension is, and she also knows where it gets the most tense and that is my lower back but she's going very slow. When Giana massages me like this, she takes her time and pays special attention to each and every knot of tension, refusing to move onto the next one until the one she's on is once more eased of its tightness.

I sigh softly and allow my eyes to close as I focus all of my senses on her. I can smell her shampoo from that morning's shower. It's different than it used to be, now a combination of peaches and cream with just a hint of vanilla. She has always loved peaches as I've mentioned before. Before I closed my eyes, I saw her knees on either side of my hips and now with my eyes closed I feel her hands on my bare skin and hear her soft humming as she works out the kinks.

Giana has always been gentle to me when she gives me massages and I'm grateful because her tenderness is another thing that I absolutely love about her. I could probably fall asleep to her ministrations, but I'm roused when she asks, "What are you about to write about in the journal next, Zach?"

I tense at how well she can read me, but the tension leaves me when she immediately kisses the back of my neck. That always makes me hum and I now relax even more. "February 14th of last year."