Toxic

Toxic: Chapter #49 | Suite New Year's Eve

Zach's Past

☣ ♡ ☣

⚠️ Warning: ⚠️

This chapter contains mentions of past sexual abuse, ethics of mental health professionals, past trauma, sexual themes and dry humping. Take care!

☣ ♡ ☣

When we got back from Christmas break, I had originally planned on getting things ready for the upcoming semester. However, after the conversations with not just Giana but with my parents and my sister Zoe as well, I just wasn't in the right mindset to do anything of the kind. In fact, when Giana had to head into work, I decided to take a trip to see her mom.

"Hello, Zach," she said when she opened the door. "What brings you here?" she asked as she stepped aside and let me in.

I followed her inside, shut the door behind me and shoved my hands into the pockets of my sweatshirt. "I have something I need to talk about with..." I trailed off and sighed, raking a hand through my hair. "...someone and all things considered, I was hoping I could talk to you?"

Mrs. Morrison paused in her work, the plate she was washing sinking back into the soapy water as she gave me a nod. "Sure. Did you want to sit down?"

"Yes, please?" I said and took a seat at the kitchen island on one of the stools. She sat on a stool across from me and smiled, giving me time to collect my thoughts.

"Take your time, Hun."

I nodded and took a deep breath, my hands now folded in front of me on the counter and started chewing on my lip. "So, after Giana said yes, she told me she wants me to see someone for what I went through and then over Christmas both of my parents and my sister Zoe said the same thing. I—" I cut myself off, the lump of emotion in my throat making it hard to get the words out. "I agree with them, but it hurts to be told I'm broken."

She waited for me to continue but I had nothing more to say at that moment. "Okay," she said softly. "Well, as a mother and a psychiatrist, even knowing what little I do about what you went through, I agree with them."

I met her gaze and nodded. I wasn't surprised she did, but my mind was busy focusing on the fact that she said she was a psychiatrist. I knew that already but before I could think too hard on it, I blurted out, "Couldn't I just see you then?"

Mrs. Morrison stilled and then shook her head, her mouth in a sad but understanding smile. "I wish I could help you with this, Zach, sweetheart, but I can't."

"Why not?" I whispered, my shoulders slumping. I didn't understand why she couldn't be the one I saw. "I trust you and you're my fiancé's mom and—"

She raised her hand to pause my rambling. "That's exactly why, Zach. Yes, I am a psychiatrist and were you anyone else, it wouldn't be an issue but because you are my daughter's fiancé, I have to consider the question of ethics."

"Ethics?" I inquired, my brow furrowing. Of course, I knew what ethics were. Ethics were moral principles that governed a person's behavior. "Do you mean like worth ethic or morality?"

"Yes, in a sense that's what I mean." She hummed in thought, tapping her fingers in a random rhythm on the counter. I had seen Giana do the same thing before when she was thinking hard on something. So, I waited patiently for Mrs. Morrison to continue. "Think of it like this," she started. "You've heard of favoritism, nepotism and the like, right?"

"Right."

She nodded. "Good, so that's part of it but the other part is the separation of your own feelings from those of the other person. If Giana was in pain, how would that make you feel?"