Still into you (Professor Series #2)

Kabanata XLII

Kabanata XLII

Noon at Ngayon

Napayuko ako at nakagat ang labi habang unti unting tumutulo ang luha. Guilt enveloped my body and pity for Winston.

"I-I'm so sorry...." my voice broke.

I think this is all my fault. Kung sinabi ko lang sana agad kay Winston ang kay Dmitri... baka sakaling hindi ganito ang nangyayari. One mistake changed everything. One decision made this all happen.

"And I'm not sorry at all.." he said with bloodshot eyes.

Agad akong napatingala at napatingin sa kanya.

"Forgive me, Eleanor, but I'm not sorry at all. For what I did back then. Because thinking about right now... iyon lang ang tanging kong ganti sa kanya. The time he spent without you, the pain, and struggle he went through.. iyon lang ang ganti ko. Hindi ako kuntento roon pero ang isipin na nahirapan siya at nasaktan.. that's the only way I could get back at him," he said with so much pain and anger in his eyes.

"What d-do you mean-"

"I know you'd go back running to him after hearing this. I know I might regret it later.. You might resent me and never want to see me again. But do know, Eleanor.. I did it because I loved you..."

"W-What did you do, Winston?" naguguluhan ko nang tanong.

Tumigil ang luha ko dahil sa naramdamang pagkabog ng puso. Wala akong ka-ideya ideya sa sinasabi niya!

"If you're talking about how you lied right into his face about our-"

"I fired him from his work and made sure that he'll have a hard time finding one. I paid his boss to fire him. Because I feel betrayed after knowing what's happening between you two. And I thought you'd come back to your senses that he's not-"

Nanlaki ang mata ko sa nalaman. Dmitri did mention that he was fired! But I didn't think it would be... Damn!

"What the fuck, Winston?!"

"Hindi mo ako masisisi, Eleanor! I wanted to get back at him so bad for stealing you from me! And for your betrayal!"

I brushed my hair because of the feeling that's building up inside me. Nakakaramdam ako ng galit sa nalaman ko. At guilt dahil hindi iyon mangyayari kung hindi dahil sa akin!

"It's not even his fault, Winston! Kaya bakit mo 'yon ginawa?! Maliit na bagay lang 'yon para sa'yo pero para kay Dmitri buhay niya 'yon! He's working so hard-"

"I am also working hard to get to your heart! But he fucking stole you from me! He fucking stole your attention and then, damn, he got you! Didn't he?" he said with so much pain. "I couldn't ruin him completely before because I was hoping that if he'd be gone, you'll come back to me. Baka makita mo ako. Pero bakit hindi mo pa rin ako nakita sa tatlong taon na ako ang nasa tabi mo, Eleanor?"

He looked at me with so much pain in his eyes and smiled a little. Sobrang gulo na ng buhok niya, pulang pula ang mata, at kitang kita mo ang galit niya dahil namumula rin ang mukha niya. The veins on his neck and forehead are visible whenever he's talking with so much anger.

He scoffed, "I'm not letting him be with you after this, Eleanor. Kung hindi sa akin... hindi rin sa kanya. Because I'm going to ruin his name.. completely. I'm going to ruin him.. just like how he ruined us... Or maybe by now, it's already ruined?" aniya at tumingin sa relo niya.

Dumaloy ang takot sa akin sa narinig kay Winston. Agad ko siyang sinugod at hinampas ang dibdib.

"What the hell did you, Winston?! Anong ginawa mo?! Tell me!" galit kong sigaw at sinuntok ang dibdib niya.