All is Fair in Love and War (Alastor x Reader)

Chapter 1

"Okay, see..." you sneered as you forcefully kicked the barstool out from under the red hulky cyclops demon beside you, causing him to drop with his jaw clanging shut on the counter in front of him. No doubt biting his own tongue in the process. "The nice lady told you she wasn't interested and to keep your grubby hands to yourself."

You grabbed a fistful of his greasy, matted black hair harshly and broke the bottle he was drinking from- keeping the makeshift weapon close to his eye as you held him in place with superhuman strength. "And yet you insist on being a deadshit good for nothing obnoxious pest!" You chuckled darkly. "You know what happens to pests, right?"

"P-please!" He sputtered out with a slur, rasping as blood dribbled down his chin and he locked eyes with you. Your eyes narrowed as your smile went from sickly sweet to sour and sadistic. You gripped his hair tighter, keeping his head back and in place.

"Pests are gotten rid of, hunny." You chuckled as your pierced the broken bottle neck through the demons only eye, smooth and with ease like cutting through butter; soft squelches could be heard in harmony with his symphonic yells and hollers of pain. You twisted it this way and that, damaging the ever-living-fuck out of his eye and probably brain as well until he eventually went limp and slumped down to the floor. Presumably passed out from pain and bodily shock.

You nonchalantly sat back up in your chair and threw your drink back, gulping down the last swig of your whiskey sour before raising a hand to signal to the working bartender. "Close my tab please! And don't worry, I got the mess."

With a wave of your hand the demon was propped up on his chair with the bottle still protruding from his face, blood and glass vanishing from the floor and counter top.

"Huh, I bet he didn't see that coming." You chuckled quietly to yourself.

"You know, you didn't have to do that." A familiar voice said behind you. You turned and looked at the plump young blonde and into her pink and black eyes, she gave you a sly smile and you returned it with one of your own.

"And let him get away with treating you like that? Mimzy, absolutely not. He had it coming. Besides. I can tip you better than most the fellas in here if that's what your worried about." You said turning back and taking your card back from the bartender before turning to face Mimzy again.

She laughed softly. "It aint the tips I'm worried about. If our boss finds out that Mirage is still hurting the patrons he's gonna have you fired. Y/n I know ya don't need this job but I like havin' yous around. I like ya. I like watching you sing and singing with ya. Please?"

You tapped your straw on the rim of your empty glass as you thought, letting out a heavy sigh. "I can't in good conscience let these lowlifes pester you. You're my friend. Just... Promise me that if you can't handle it you won't hesitate to tell me? Then I promise I'll at least drag their ass outside first before I tear them a new one."

The blonde giggled and shook her head as you stood up and straighten out your dress. "Of course. And thank you doll. That's not to say I don't appreciate what ya do for me.

"Anytime, hun." You flashed her a grin and left a hundred dollar bill in between your glass and coaster for your coworkers as a way of apologizing for the mishap before you walked back out.

The warm, red glow of the outside greeted your skin immediately as you stepped out the door, enveloping you in its thick blanket of heavy air as you manifested a cigarette between your fingers. "Fire a fucking overlord for violence in a bar." You murmured, the cigarette half hanging out of your mouth as you lit it with your thumb and took a long gratifying drag. "That's the funniest thing I've heard all day." You scoffed with a smile as you exhaled a dark puff of smoke.