Chiara Rose

quarantotto

tw - mention of self harm, suicide, abuse and eating disorders

Chiara's POV

Rocco was a really ugly toddler.

In this photo his hair is sticking out in five different directions, his bottom lip is pushed out and his arms are crossed over his chest. He's not even looking at the camera, he's glaring at a baby Gi who's holding either baby Bruno or Enzo.

Tino dragged me to the warehouse building thing where he works for today, because apparently I'm no longer allowed to be home alone. There was no one to stay home and look after me, and because of recent discoveries, Tino has to be here today. He gave me his office to hang out in, but it got boring and the math was making me cry. Or maybe it was the photo of Dad and Tino at his college graduation that was making me cry, either way I needed out of there.

Somehow I ended up in this hallway of family photos, and I'm look at a family photo from when Carlo and I just came home from hospital, well at least that's what I presume. Mum's holding a baby me in her arms and Dad's holding a baby Carlo. Next to mum a 6 or 7 year old Agostino is holding a baby Bruno or Enzo, I really can't tell them apart. And then the other three are sitting beside Dad. Everyone who can smile is smiling very brightly, apart from Rocco, but much hasn't changed there.

The next one across looks like it's from Carlo and I's second birthday, and the last birthday I had with my family before I was taken away. Dad's holding a two year old me wearing a pink princess dress and golden tiara, he's looking at the camera but I'm too busy fidgeting with the chain hanging around his neck. Carlo is sitting in mum's arms, wearing a prince costume and a crown on his head, and he's looking at me with disgust.

In this photo you can tell Bruno and Enzo apart more easily, and Rocco is standing in front of the table holding Enzo so he can stand. Bruno is sitting on top of Tino's shoulders and holding Gi's hand at the same time. Everyone's smiles are extremely bright, but Mum's looks a little duller then the previous one.

I skim past most of the ones after that, but stop at the second to last one. It looks recent, and the date at the bottom tells me it's from this time last year. The only thing I can notice is how grumpy everyone looks, except for Carlo. He looks kind of happy to be alive. The all look like replicas of Dad, standing there with straight faces. Rocco looks really mad to be there.

In the next photo across, they all look like completely different people. This one was taken on the night Dad died. I can vividly remember Rocco complaining about needing to take photos, and Carlo trying to talk to me and apologise.

I'm standing towards the centre of the photo, sandwiched in between Dad and Gi. Tino, Enzo and Bruno are on the opposite side of Dad and Rocco and Carlo beside Gi. Carlo, Gi, Bruno and I all have smiles on our faces and the others have straight glares or smirks on their faces, but they've all got an amused glint in their eye. We all look so happy, it breaks my heart knowing that if we were to retake that photo now, it would look very different.

"The Bernardi and Marino's are the best looking families out there." A deep voice sighs from beside. I quickly twist my head and find Giuseppe looking at the photo from beside me.

"They are some amazing genes." He continues and finally turns his head to look at me. He does a quick scan over my face, and what he's looking at isn't pretty. I have massive eye bags, even though I've been spending all my time in bed, and my eyes are probably red from crying.

"Imagine those gene's merging together. Those would be some good looking babies." He finishes looking at me expectantly. Is he hinting at something, what is he trying to say. Oh, now he's wiggling his eyebrows, does he know something about Milo and I?