Chiara Rose

cinquantadue

tw - mention of rape, sexual assault, suicide and self harm

Chiara's POV

His hands are on my neck. Now they're on my chest. My hands are clawing at him, but then pins them above my head. You can see the fight basically drain out of my body, you can see me accept whats about to happen.

"Just pretend I'm that pretty Marino boy, you'll enjoy it." Alexei's deep voice says, coming out through the speaker and I almost throw up right then and there. But before that can even happen, somehow the phone has gone flying out of my hand and crashed up against the wall. It lands on the floor right in front of my bathroom, and I just sit and stare at it.

I don't even know why I thought it was a good idea to go through the phone I found under my bed. I don't know why I didn't stop after I found a hard drive in my book shelf. A hard drive filled with photos and videos of me from when he bought me.

I need to get out of this room.

I know he's not in here, I know his hands aren't on my neck. But I can still feel them, I can still smell his terrible B.O. I can still feel the pain he was causing down stairs. I can still feel it all.

It might've been better if I slept last night after we got back from the warehouse. But I couldn't, I couldn't sleep in the same bed he raped me on. The closest I got to sleeping was when I almost passed out on the toilet, and I'm pretty sure that's not safe. I was going to go and sleep in Carlo or any brothers room, but I couldn't. I've caused enough problems as it is, the least I can do is let them have a decent sleep.

Somehow I'm standing in front of my bathroom door, looking down at the phone I found under my bed. Reluctantly, I bend over and pick up the phone. It's very cracked, very very cracked but, it's still functional. I can't help the small pang of guilt that pops up in my chest because I just broke someone else's phone.

I don't want these, I shouldn't have these. Maybe, maybe if I give them to someone else they can get rid of it, maybe someone can fix it all. If I don't get rid of them now I'll just end up watching all of it again, and again, and again. And something tells me that it won't end well.

That's probably how I end up standing at the top of the stairs that lead down into the basement, where I know Tino is right now. Tino will be able to fix it, I know he will, so I start walking down the unnecessarily long stairs that lead to the basement, ignoring the fact that I'm going to have a panic attack at any given moment.

"Uh- Miss Bernardi, I don't think you're supposed to be down here." The tall guard says at the bottom of the stairs, I swear I see his hand flinch to his gun for a second. Is he going to shoot me? No, I probably just imagined that. I wouldn't be mad if he shot me right now.

"I need to see Tino." I mumble. Based off the way the guard gives me a worried once over and quickly scurries out of my way, I probably look like shit. I'm quick to scurry down the hall, turning whenever it feels right from memory of when I was down here last. I think I'm shaking. The phone and hard drive I'm holding are making an odd rattling sound that I can only assume is because I'm shaking

"Wait! Miss Bernardi, Tino, he's in a-." Meeting, Tino is in a meeting which I have just barged in on. A meeting with Nonno, Nonna, Zio Francesco and Matthew, Zia Giulia and Isabella, Giuseppe, Romeo and Riccardo. Whom are all now staring at me with nothing but concern spread all over their face.

"Oh, uh, sorry." I mutter, and quickly shut the door before anyone can tell me anything.

However, I don't miss Agostino saying, "Do your fucking job." To Riccardo, I have no idea what he said or did after it though because I'm already halfway down the hallway on my way out of here.