I sat in the back of my car smoking a blunt, I rarely smoked but I needed something to calm my nerves because I was about to do something I've should've done a long time ago.... it scared me a little not knowing how he was going to react. I was shocked when he answered and even more shocked when he agreed to meet me; I was both excited to see him and afraid of what he'd do when I bared my soul and confessed my sins. I checked my watch and wondered where the fuck Mauricio was at, he was supposed to be here twenty minutes ago and I was starting to get annoyed.... maybe that was his plan, get me pissed so I wasn't on my A-game. Plus there was the little fact that he told me that he thought I was at my sexiest when I was pissed, maybe I'm just holding onto hope... Maybe he just decided to stay at the hospital with that nigga Supreme, or maybe he had to go back to the group home.... maybe.... I saw Mauricio walking around the parking lot looking for my car, even though he was wearing a hood I knew it was him by the way he walked, I called over to him and he started walking over in my direction... Okay, here we go.... time to tell everything.
"It's cold, it's raining and I got school in the morning but I may just say fuck it and go up to the hospital with Sterling, so this better be fuckin important like you claimed.... I really don't even know why I'm here in the first place." Mauricio said. "And why are you sitting in the back of your car like a weirdo?"
"We had some of our best and deepest conversations in this very backseat.... I feel like it'll be easier for me to talk, so are you going to sit out there, or are you getting in?" I asked scooting over and letting him in. "How's Supreme... I'm sorry 'STERLING' doing? Any update?" I asked looking at him.
"Stable... but not like you care.... Look I don't got time to provide updates, you said you had something to tell me now talk before I leave....." Mauricio said looking at me.
"Why did you come here, Mauricio?" I asked looking into his eyes. "Like seriously, ever since we split up you have made it a point to avoid being around me... Now I've seen you multiple times in the same day, what's really going on?" I asked.
"You said it was important... you sounded so sad and I just...... despite you being a bitch ass nigga.... and everyone thinking I'm mean and heartless... I don't like seeing people in pain..... I thought you were considering you know......." Mauricio said quietly.
"Always the protector.... I think that's why you're drawn to that nigga Supreme, he's the one person you safe around, while you're protecting everyone else... no one is protecting you and with him... you feel like you finally got someone who can look after you, someone you can be vulnerable with..... That's something I should've seen, something I should've realized." I said quietly.
"I didn't come here for a therapy session, Ja'Koda.... I came to see what the hell you wanted to talk about and why you were sounding like someone who was close to giving up... that's it and that's all." Mauricio said, he still had that wall up... his anger hid his true feelings and I knew once I told him the truth, either he was going to say what's really on his heart or he was going to build an even stronger wall.
"When I told you I did something you'd never forgive me for.... I uhh..... I went to see your dad." I said looking up at him and seeing the anger ignite in his eyes. "I had every intention of just beating his ass... it was after we had gotten into an argument and I was pissed, I felt like the anger you insist on directing towards me was misplaced and that at your core... all the anger you were holding on to came from one place...... your dad." I said quietly.
"And what were you going to do after you 'beat his ass'? Come back to me and say that you defended my honor? You should've just stayed out of it Koda.... you know what.... what happened when you got there because that's what's going to determine what happens next." Mauricio said and he was so mad that his hands were shaking.
