The words I wish I never said

Chapter 44

Ayisha POV

My eyes slowly open as I take in my surroundings and realize I'm in the hospital. I groan as I feel a dull pain on my head and I sigh. I don't know how long I've been out but the only thought in my head is Ryan. I push myself to sit up with my healthy arm as I realize my other one has a cast. My eyes snap towards the door when I hear it clicks. The nurse walks in and smiles at me.

"You're awake... I'll go get the doctor and your parents." she says before leaving the room.

I seriously hope Ryan is okay. If anything bad ever happened to him, I don't know what I would do. I've known for him for most of my life and losing him would kill me. The door opens once again to reveal my parents and the doctor. My parents are to get to my side and asked if I'm okay or if I'm in pain. They both look drained and tired. I feel terrible for making them worry about me like this.

"I'm glad you have finally chose to wake up. It's been two days. We were starting to worry." My mom says as her hand go through my hair. My dad stays silent as holds tightly onto my hand.

The doctor clears his throat and I turn my attention to him.

"Hello Ayisha, I'm Dr. Robinsons. You almost gave a scared but it's okay. Your body was reacting to the shock it experienced. You have broken an arm and leg, and two ribs as well. The glass that was stuck in your head, we were able to get it out and give you stitches."

I just nod as he says all those things because I don't know what to say. I feel numb at the moment because I don't know how much my best friend has suffered. I hope I get to see him after this or at least I'm allowed to. The doctor leaves soon after he tells me that I will be able to get discharged only after he's observed that I'll be okay at home. The doctor has left the room about five minutes now and my parents seem to be having a intense staring contest. I don't know what's up with that and I'm going to ask. I want to go see Ryan.

"Can I go see Ryan now? Please?" I whisper enough for them to hear me because they both turn to look at me. I think the mention of Ryan has made it worse. They both have this look of sympathy in their eyes.

"Is everything okay? Is Ryan okay?" I ask.

They both stay quiet and I'm starting to have this feeling in my stomach.

"Mom? Dad? What's going on?"

"Princess, I'm so sorry but you can't see Ryan." My dad says as his grip on my hand gets a little tighter.

"Why not? Dad, he was also involved in this accident. I need to make sure he's okay dad. Please, can I see him? I can even use the wheelchair so that I don't strain my leg. Please dad." I beg as tears begin to slide down cheeks. My dad sighs and stares at the ceiling before looking at me with tears in his eyes.

"Ryan is gone, princess."

"No dad, please tell me this isn't real. He was still holding my hand before I passed out. He wouldn't leave me like that."

"I'm sorry my baby." My mom says before her arms are wrapped around me. In a matter of seconds I'm a crying mess. I can't believe his gone. It's difficult to come terms with it. I feel guilty because I let him drive me home that night. I wish I had left Chloe alone when she picked the fight maybe Ryan would still be alive. My best friend gone. After crying for what feels like hours, my mom tells me to take a shower and change into comfortable pajamas. The shower took long because I was in so much pain both physically and emotionally. My leg and head were beginning to hurt because I've been standing for some time. The pain of losing my best friend felt like a thousand stabs to my heart.

Now I'm sitting on the hospital bed again while my mom has been doing her best to get me to eat.

"I know it's really hard right now but I need you to eat."