The words I wish I never said

Chapter 14

I bury my face into the pillow when I see the sunlight shine through the curtains. I rub my eyes and take a look around,instead of purple walls, I find dark grey ones. It's only then I realise that I'm in my boyfriend's room. He's lays next to me with his arms over my waist and I hear his calm breathing in my ear. I would love to wake up next to him every morning,being in his arms makes me feel safe from my wicked world. I wish we could stay like this forever but we have to face reality. Waking up to him screaming, scared and shocked me. I didn't know he has nightmares. I wonder why he didn't tell me? I hope he doesn't feel ashamed because we get vulnerable at some point as humans. We seek for comfort from the evil we face every day. I pray that he tells me some day about the nightmare and his dad. Adam always gets angry every time I ask him what happened to his dad. Was it that bad? I want Adam to know that I'm here for him if ever he needs a shoulder to cry on. He didn't have anymore nightmares during the night and he held onto me. He also kept saying my name which made me feel emotional. It makes me feel useless because I don't know how to help him. I sigh and snuggle closer to him. He stirs but doesn't wake up.

Adam's room looks very neater than the other days I'm here. I never paid much attention to it. His walls are dark grey and the curtains are navy. On one side of the room there is his study desk and a bookshelf. There is a closet on the other side and a couple of pictures I have taken of us. We need to take more photos. Our anniversary is in three months. I don't know what to get him. He isn't picky when it comes to gifts. I could probably get him socks. Lame. I could get him boxing gloves with his name or initials on them. That's much better. I pull the blanket to my chest to keep myself warmer and Adam holds me closer. Why can't this last forever? I feel like my bladder is about to bust. I need to go use the bathroom. I look over my shoulder to find Adam still asleep. I slowly move his arm off me to get off the bed.

"Where are you going?" he asks.

He sounds so sexy with his husky voice. I turn to face him,his hair is all over his forehead and his eyes are still closed. I gently remove the hair away from his face and kiss his on the forehead.

"I need the bathroom." I whisper.

I rush out of the bed to the bathroom and did my business. I wash my hands and went back into his bedroom. His back is leaning against the headboard and he seems to be deep in thought. I walk towards the bed and sit next to him.

"Morning babe." I say.

"Morning Angel."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes because you were here with me."

"Do you want to talk about the nightmare you had?"

"No it's okay babe."

"Are you sure babe? You know that you can talk to me about anything."

If he only knew what I'm hiding as well but I'm doing it for his safety, right?

"Yes I know and I'm okay now. There is nothing to talk about."

"Do you get them all the time?"

"Yes but don't worry about it."

I nod.

"So aren't you going to give me a morning kiss?"

I kiss his lips and he kisses me back. He hovers over me and kneels between my legs. The kiss gets deeper and his hand goes under his shirt. I put my hands on his chest to push him off me.

"We need to brush our teeth." I says.

"Okay mom."

He rolls his eyes and walks off to the bathroom. I follow him. We brush our teeth together and I make my way to the kitchen to make us breakfast. He goes and makes the bed. I cook us pancakes, eggs, bacon, fish fingers, chicken nuggets and coffee. I think I may have went overboard with the breakfast but I'm sure he'll eat most of it. We settle down in the kitchen and eat the food while having random conversations. We wash the dishes and clean the house. The house didn't need that much clean anyway. Adam takes a shower while I try to get my homework done. I get in the shower after he takes one. I take time to wash myself clean and wipe myself with the towel. I have so many hickeys all over my body. How am I going to hide them? I walk into the bedroom and take out clothes that I'll wear for the day. Adam kisses my neck and my phone rings. A picture of Emma is displayed on the screen. I take the phone to answer it beside Adam's protests.