The words I wish I never said

Chapter 27

I don't know how long I've been crying but right now my eyes are hurting. Ryan has been trying to get me to calm down but I don't know how that is going to happen. My heart is crashing into a billion pieces. Memories of Adam and I can't stop popping up in my throughts. Did they ever mean something to him? I want the answers to the questions that I have but I don't think I'm ready to know. I'm still in love with him but he has really broken my heart. I wonder what is next?

"Ayi, you need to tell me what's wrong?"Ryan pleads.

I sigh. He has been asking the question for the past hour and I don't know if I want to talk about what happened. All I want to do is punch something or someone. At the same time, I just want to sit here and stuff myself with ice cream. Will I ever be able to move on? We shared so many beautiful memories together and he just had to ruin it by kissing her. Brianna must probably be happy wherever she is because she knew how much I loved Adam. As for Adam, I don't care what happens to him. He can fuck himself. Warm hands cup my cheeks and force me to look up. Ryan sighs and wipes my tears. He shakes his head and mumbles something under his breath. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me towards him. My head rests on his shoulder and I close my eyes to stop my tears.

"You need to talk to me so I know how to help." he murmurs.

"I saw them kissing." I whisper.

"Who was kissing?"

"Adam and Brianna."

"What?! Are you sure?" he asks and pulls away so that I'm looking at him in the eyes.

"Yes Ryan, I'm sure. I saw them with my own eyes."

"But Adam is crazy about you."

"He's probably had enough of me." I scoff and shrug.

"That boy loves you, I see it every time in his eyes. It's probably Brianna's fault. I mean he would go mental if something or someone hurt you."

"So what you are trying to say is that, I'm seeing things, that I'm probably going psycho? " I ask as my voice raises a little.

"Ayi... Relax. It just doesn't make sense as to why Adam would cheat on you especially with Brianna. You know how she is so I don't think Adam did anything. "

"Yes I do know and now she's got what's she has always wanted. ADAM. She can have him because I'm not going to stay with him."

"Don't you think you are being a little dramatic?"

"Dramatic?! Really Ryan?! Do you know how much I fucken love that guy? To see him kiss someone else really hurt me. It fucken broke my heart so no I don't think I'm being dramatic. I do deserve to act like this. I love him so much and it's hurting me. It's really painful Ryan. " I pout as I stare at my best friend.

Ryan sighs and his hand goes over his face. His hair looks messy and his shirt has patches of wet circles because of my tears. I'm so grateful he hasn't cried yet or went to kill someone. He looks stressed and disappointed. What if he's right about what is going on? Adam hasn't given me a reason to doubt him until today. What if it was Brianna who kissed Adam? But I saw them. I know I did. I'm not that blind. I'm so confused and I can't think straight. Ryan clearing his throat brings me back to reality.

"I'm sorry for calling you dramatic. Did you talk to him after the incident?"

"He ran after me and followed me home. He was on his knees crying and begging me to let him explain but I just yelled at him. I left him on his knees. My mom saw all of that."