The words I wish I never said

Chapter 32

We are laying on the bed after another hour of steamy session. I think it was 5th round. I seriously don't know where he got this stamina. I cuddle closer to Adam and be careful not to hurt him. I've noticed more bruises on him. I wonder what happened? Why didn't he tell me? I try not to think about it since I missed being next him so much. I listen to his steady heartbeat. My fingers trace on his purple and pink scars. I sigh. Maybe I should ask him? But how will I start it? Adam lifts up my chin to look at him.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks.

"What happened to you? There are so many scars on your body. Did Mark do this to you?"

"Yes he did but I don't want you to worry about it, okay."

"Don't do that... You know I'm going to worry about you. It hurts me to see you living like this. How long are you willing to take the pain? It's going to mess you up. For how long are you willing to get hurt Adam? It breaks my heart to see you in so much pain. What if you don't survive next time? What if he beats you up till you die? Till you not breathing? Till your heart isn't beating anymore? I don't think I'll be able to survive all of that with everything that's going on. I need you."

He sighs and his hand goes over his face. I seriously can't imagine my life without him. I don't think I'll be able to handle any kind of tragedy with the threats I'm receiving. It's too much.

"Angel."

"Yes babe."

"I don't know for how long I'll be willing to let this happen but I know I'm doing it to make my mother and sister safe. I would also do the same for you even if I do it a hundred times. I'll do it for you. I'm sorry that I'm making you experience all of this. I didn't mean to make you suffer in my darkness. I'll make sure to not make you worry about my safety. I can defend myself."

"Then how the hell did you end up with so many scars?"

"It was the day you found me and Brianna kissing. I went to the gym thinking it was going help but it didn't. I've never busted my knuckles so badly in my life. Ethan called me and I told him were I was. I really need to stop telling him where I always go when I'm in my depressed state. Anyway, we ended up having a couple of drinks. When I got home I thought everyone was asleep but I was wrong. Mark was still awake and he said something about you. I just lost it. I punched him and he fought back. He didn't even hold back and I was starting to get dizzy. Next thing I know, I'm laying on the floor with him on top of me and he was banging my head onto the floor. I can't remember how many times because I started to feel numb. My mom's voice was the last thing I heard before I got unconscious. "

Tears are just rolling down my face at this point. How could Mark do this? I despise him so much right now and I've lost respect for him as a human. He is such an animal but I feel like this is my fault. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. We should've sorted it out and he wouldn't have had to get drunk and almost die by the hands of the most cruel man. What will he gain from all the pain he's causing Adam?

"I'm sorry babe. It's all my fault. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did and you wouldn't have got hurt. You wouldn't have drank too much and got hurt because of me."

"Angel, don't blame yourself. You did what you thought was right for you at that moment. It was my choice to get drunk and fight Mark. Please don't blame yourself."

I cry on his chest and he holds me tighter. My hands go around his back to hold him closer towards me. He kisses my forehead and reassures me that nothing will happen again. After sometime I finally calm down and breathe slowly. I lay on Adam's chest as his fingers go through my hair to make me relax. I don't want to loose him yet.