The words I wish I never said

Chapter 30

Adam POV

A WEEK, is how long I haven't spoken to my angel. I miss her like crazy. I want to talk to her but I'm afraid that she might still be angry at me. The past week has been terrible. I woke up in the hospital after passing out from Mark beating the crap out of me. I broke a few ribs, stitches at the back of my head and a bruises on my torso. That fuck face nearly made me have a brain damage. I'm still not afraid of him though. I had to stay there for four days. My mom is blaming herself and I don't want her to. She wasn't the one who beat me and I need her to understand that she didn't do anything. The doctor said I couldn't go school for the rest of the week or even train for basketball. I locked myself in my room a lot, not wanting to connect with the outside world and thinking of the girl that makes me feel happy. I wish I could tell her about what is going on but I promised to give her space. I miss her so much. I can't stop thinking about the way she laughs, speaks, rolls her eyes at me when I demand her to do something and damn I miss having her in my arms, telling me how I shouldn't let everything get to my head. Does she miss me the way I miss her? Probably not? She could be upset and not want anything to do with me. I'll understand that she doesn't want me anymore. I have so many things going on in my life. I love her so much that I'll give her my life. She actually does especially my heart.

When Ethan told me that Ayisha got into a fight with Brianna on Friday I was quite impressed. I'm glad she did that. I hope that sends the message to Brianna. She hasn't been to school for the past three days and it's not like her. I just feel like something is wrong. I guess I should give her a call. I have so much to tell her. I didn't tell Ethan about me going to the hospital. I don't want to worry him about me but he did see the bruises. I just told him that I got mugged while I was going to the shop.

The water is cold in the shower. Shit! I've been here for that long. I quickly wash myself clean and let the freezing water run down my skin. I step out of the shower minutes later and dry myself with a towel. I wrap it around my waist and walk into my bedroom to get dressed. Most of bruises have healed and thankfully my ribs don't pain as they have been the past days. I can finally play basketball again and I missed playing with my team. I can also go back to boxing. Yay me. The stitches will be removed this Friday hopefully.

I put on a pair of jeans with my usual plain black t-shirt and a hoodie. I don't want to be asked questions about what happened to me because those people at school are too much. Why would they even care? I put on my Nike Air sneakers and run my hand through my hair to smooth it out. It looks messy but doesn't it always do. I made a promise to myself today that I'm going to talk to Ayisha. I hope that she will be at school. I grab my backpack and walk downstairs. I find everyone in the kitchen. My mom cooking breakfast, Sky eating her favourite cereal and fuck face reading something on his phone. I don't say anything because I might probably swear. I'm pissed, really pissed. I walk quietly to a seat by the island next to Sky. I can already feel the tension in the room and feel eyes digging holes in my body. I keep my eyes on the granite counter until I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up to see my mom holding a plate for me filled with breakfast. She gives me a smile and places the plate in front of me. I give a smile in return as thank you and set my eyes on the mouth watering food. The breakfast is delicious that I don't stop eating after the first bite. Once I'm done, I quickly wash my plate and dry it. I take my medication dose for the morning and leave.

I get into my car and I back out of the driveway as soon as the engine comes to life. Soon I'm on the road and driving to school. The sky is filled with gray clouds. It's like the universe is speaking about my heart because it feels empty without Ayisha. It should rain. I love the rain. It gives me a peace of mind and comfort with myself from thinking about my life. I never had a normal life after my dad died so there's no difference in trying to live again when I'm being a failer in everything. I can't protect my mother and sister. I think that I've lost the love of my life. Its clear that I can't defend myself properly from Mark. The school's name comes to my view and I have second thoughts of coming here. I take deep breaths to control myself and drive through the full parking lot. I park my car before stepping out. I grab my bag and walk into the school. I end up at Ayisha's locker to wait for her. I just want to see her. When the bell rings for us to get to class, I decide to wait a few more minutes. After waiting ten minutes, I sigh and walk to my first class. I apologise to my history teacher and walk to my seat at the back of the class. I zone out throughout the whole lesson. What if something did happen to her? I take my phone out and text her.