Looking at you side ways

92

Derek walked into the bathroom and sat the coffee down on the counter. Meredith was drying her hair and turned the dryer off. She took a sip and said, "Thank you."

He gave her a little smile and said, "You're welcome."

There was an uncomfortable silence between them and she assumed he was pissed about Cristina.

She asked softy, "Are you mad about Cris busting in here?"

He said quickly, "No. I know she is your friend Meredith. She does have incredibly bad timing though."

She said, "I know. But she really needed to talk Derek."

"Is she okay?"

Meredith said not very convincingly, "Yeah. I think so."

Derek cupped her face and said, "You wouldn't be you if you did take care of your friends. I understand."

"Do you? You seem a little....off."

Derek said, "I'm fine. I'm just going to take a quick shower. But we need to talk when I get out okay?"

Meredith bit her lower lip and said nervously, "Okay."

He turned the water on and Meredith finished her hair. She went into the bedroom and sat in the large chair and waited. All sorts of thoughts went through her head. [i]All her old insecurities and trust and abandonment issues came raging back to the surface. [/i]She fingered her necklace like her old baby blanket and blinked back a tear.[i] She felt a pathetic acuminous that bordered on desperation, as if he were some essential component she needed in order to survive. Her throat was closing up and she tried to control her breathing. She hadn't had an asthma attack for so long. [/i]

Derek finished quickly and put on a pair of jeans. [i]He finally had worked up the courage to ask about meeting his family. [/i]He took a deep breath as he walked back into their bedroom.

He saw her there sitting so primly and panting so lightly. [i] He immediately knew by her huge frighten eyes that she had jumped to the wrong conclusion about him wanting to talk. [/i]He quickly went over to her and sat across from her on the bed.

He took both her hands in his and said, "Meredith. It's not what you think. I love you so much. I'm sorry. I'm not handling this well."

She asked shakily, "Handing what well?"

"We do need to talk. But it's not bad. I mean............I hope it's not bad."

She said firmly, "Just say it. I can handle it." She took deep breaths.

He took a deep breath and said, "Meredith. I love you. I want you to meet my mom and the rest of my family. I've wanted to ask you if you'd be willing to do this since we made vacation plans. Well, even before we made vacation plans. I was so happy when you picked Bermuda. We have to leave from JKF anyway. We are so close. I was hoping we could spend a few days with my family. I want to them to meet the girl I love and want to spend the rest of my life with."

Meredith tried to pull her hands from his but he held tight and tried to read her. [i]Relief and fear seemed to co exist on her face.[/i] She gulped hard.

She said in a whisper, "I thought.............I thought....you might be breaking up with me."

Derek stood up and pulled her up from the chair and gave her a tight hug as he rubbed her back. [i]He was a little shocked at how insecure she still was. How the fuck could she think that? Damn her fucking parents! [/i] He pulled back and cupped her face and gave her a gentle kiss.

"How could you even think that? I love you Meredith. As in forever."

"I love you too Derek. I.....am......just a little....scared."