Looking at you side ways

24

Cristina and Meredith had just finished a successful surgery with one of the ortho residents. It was something they had never seen before and they were both on a high.

"Did you see how she just snapped that bone?"

Meredith winced and replied, "That was freakish. I am glad we are getting the experience, but I prefer cardio or neuro. It's more delicate."

"Yeah, but God that was great." She put her fists together and turned them suddenly like she was snapping a bone in half.

Meredith laughed at her and said, "I think somebody just found new crack!"

Cristina finished scrubbing her hands and said, "Mer. It's good to hear you laugh. You have been kinda down all week. Is everything all right?" [i]She knew Mer was a private person, but she was slowly opening up to Cris.[/i]

Meredith sighed and said, "Yeah. I am good. Just have a lot going on." [i]My head is full,[/i] thought Meredith.

"Is it Shepherd?"

[i]Besides the thing with Jaake, her mother having a really bad week, Derek Shepherd was in Meredith's head all the time. She couldn't stop thinking about him. So she avoided him. Or tried to. She wasn't ready to talk about it yet.[/i]

As they left the scrub room, Meredith said, "Um...no, but I do have something to tell you."

Cris looked over at Mer. "Is it about McVet?"

"Yeah."

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At the bar, Derek looked over at Jaake.

"Jaake."

"Derek"

Joe sat a beer in front of Jaake.[i] He knew what he drank. He had been in every night this week alone.[/i]

Derek sighed a little and thought back to what Mark had said.[i] Stop being an asshole Shepherd. If Meredith liked the guy; be civil,[/i] he thought.

Derek gave a tight smile and asked, "So how is everything going man?"

Jaake gave him a curious look and drained his beer. "How is everything going?" He signaled Joe for another.

"Yeah. How is school?"

"School is okay I guess."

Derek didn't want to ask but didn't know what else to talk about with him. "So you and Meredith....ugh.....still going strong I guess?"

Jaake looked over at Derek with pained eyes.

"I guess she didn't even bother to tell you."

"Tell me what?" Derek asked with foreboding.

Jaake took a big swig of beer and said, "She broke up with me last week."

"What?" Asked Derek,[i] truly surprised. Meredith hadn't said anything. He would have thought she would at least have told Yang.[/i]

"Yeah. Over. Done. I knew I shouldn't have told her so early."

"Told her what?"

Jaake finished off his beer and said, "She is not like any girl I have ever met. I thought it was the real deal and I thought it was mutual. This was the girl I wanted to take back home to meet my mum. We were making love and I told her I thought I was falling in love with her. She freaked out and practically ran out of my apartment half naked in the middle of the night. I guess she thought I was moving too fast. I told her I would wait. I would wait until she was ready. She avoided me for a while and then told me she couldn't do it anymore. I never put any pressure on her. I told her things could stay the way they were. And she broke up with me anyway. Doesn't want to see me anymore."

Walter walked by and Jaake asked for a scotch. Derek nodded his head too. Irrationally, Derek was angry at Meredith for hurting Jaake.[i] He had never told a girl he loved her, but assumed that most would want that.[/i]

Derek put his hand on Jaake's back and said sincerely, "I am sorry man. I don't know what to say. I had no idea."

Jaake sipped his scotch and asked, "Are you really sorry Derek?"

"Yeah. I am."

"I always thought you had feelings for her. I see the way you look at her."

Derek sipped his scotch and didn't look at Jaake. "We are colleagues and room mates. And you know, friends. I can't go there."

"You didn't answer the question either." Jaake stated the obvious.

Sighing Derek said, "Meredith has issues. She keeps secrets. She doesn't open up to people."

Nodding a little, Jaake stood up and told Derek sadly, "Take care of her Derek."

Derek said sincerely, "Take care of yourself Jaake." Nodding at him Jaake walked over to a table and sat down alone.

Derek sipped his scotch and thought to himself, [i]what is going on in that girls head? [/i]He paid his bill and signaled to Mark he was leaving.[i] He was going home. Hopefully Meredith would be there too.[/i]