Another Chance ( A Romanogers Story )

35 - "we're not meant to be that way."

chapter 35
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Steve continues to look at the window, seeing the road, the lights, the vehicles with his mind wondering what should he probably do? Will continue to love Natasha ended up hurting her? Or is it better to just stay as who they are before, friends.

On one side, he wanted to be selfish, he wanted to love her, to share his love with her but on the other side, he loved her too much to be selfish.

Turning his feelings down and keep being by Natasha's side will of course be painful for him, but in Steve's mind, it's better for him to get hurt than Natasha being hurted. He only wanted her to be happy, to love herself and to realise how worthy and precious she is. It doesn't matter if she will never love him the same way as he loved her, because what matters the most for Steve is Natasha's happiness.

After a few minutes, they arrived at the HQ and Steve pats Natasha's shoulder gently to wake her up.
"We're here." He whispers quietly and Natasha opened her eyes slowly and raise her head from his shoulder.

"See, told you I'll make it up." Sam said proudly.

"Shut up, you said you're sleepy and you still decided to drive. YOU were trying to get us killed!" Wanda said as she quits the car.

"For the love of God please give me patience." Sam said in stress.

"Okay, is no one going to talk about how mean Wanda is?" Steve asked in confusion.

"No offense but I already had a talk about that without you." Sam said as he quits the car and Steve narrowed his eyes.

"Believe me Steve, it's better to see her like this." Natasha said with a smile.

"Care to explain why?" Steve asked.

"From what I see, her eyes before were empty, it stares blanky and mostly unfocused but now it's full of joy and happines." Natasha explains. "I guess having Vision back really made her happy." She added with a smile.

"Like me having you back?" Steve asked to tease her and Natasha laughed.

"I don't know Steve, I still felt a bit sadness from the way you looked at me." Natasha said. "Please don't tell me it's your guilt again." Natasha sighed heavily.

"Yeah, maybe." Steve lied, of course he couldn't tell that it was just him being sad that he's unable to share his love with her.

"Get over it okay? I'm fine seriously." Natasha demanded. "Stop feeling guilty for something that isn't your fault." Natasha said with a smile as she pat his shoulder. "See you." She added as she quit the car.

Steve's smile faded as Natasha was no longer to be seen. For some reasons he couldn't stop being sad.

Is it really impossible for us being together? He keep on asking that to himself. Steve had tried to hold his feeling for a really long time, he ignored it, he tried to think about other things, but after Natasha's death, his heart felt a major undescribable pain, he thought it was because she's his best friend and he really cared about her then they didn't get to have a proper goodbye, but he was wrong. He loved her and he is unable to deny his feelings anymore.

With now seeing her in front of him again, it's like a dream, a dream that he thought will never be fulfilled. Perhaps Sam is right? The universe did bring her back to give Steve another chance. But what if he ended up hurting her? What if they ended up being seperated just because his feelings?