More Than Friends

Part 39 (Hardin)

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING - SEXUAL ASSAULT! ⚠️

As I'm driving us to the police station, I can see that Tessa keeps looking over at me. I'm sure she's waiting for me to say something. I just don't know what to say to her. I can't even look at her right now. Her clothes are all dirty and torn, her eyes are red and puffy from crying and she has mascara smeared across her face. Looking at her this way breaks my heart. Knowing this was my fault shatters it into a million pieces.

After a very silent drive, we arrive at the police station. We're told we have to give our statements separately. I don't want to be separated from Tessa, but no one will let me go with her.

After giving my statement and answering a hundred questions, I'm finally allowed to see Tessa again. "Tess, are you okay?" I finally say to her.

"Yeah. Can we go or are they also arresting you, Hardin?" she asks with worry in her voice.

"Well, the female cop that took my statement was very sympathetic. She said Neil is well known to them and she understands I was defending you, so she said she wasn't going to charge me. I know I got lucky."

"That's really good to hear. Can we please go home?"

"Yeah, let's go home," I say as I hold the door open for her.

The drive back to the apartment is also silent. Tessa keeps staring out the window the whole way home.

Once we enter the apartment, Tessa finally says, "I'm going to go clean up," and walks into the bathroom.

I impatiently wait twenty minutes before I knock on the bathroom door. "Tess, are you okay? Can I come in?"

"You can come in, Hardin."

I open the door to find her quietly sobbing in the bathtub. "Um, I brought you one of my shirts. I don't know if you want to wear it, but it's here just in case," I say as I place it on the counter.

"Thank you," she says quietly.

I'm about to leave when Tessa stops me. "Hardin, could you help me? I'm really sore from being slammed against the wall."

I want to go find Neil and put him six feet under. "Of course, Tess. What do you need?"

"Could you help me dry off?"

"Oh, yeah," I say as I reach for the towel. Tessa gets out of the tub and I start to dry her off with the towel. "Tessa! He did all this to you?" I gasp.

Tessa turns to look in the mirror. She has bruises in the shape of Neil's hands all over her arms and neck. She also has a few on her back from being slammed into the brick wall.

"Tessa, we should get you checked out by a doctor."

"No!" she cries. "I don't want to be touched by another stranger tonight. I already can't stop feeling Neil's hands on me."

"Okay, Tess. Let me get your clothes for you, then." I hand her some panties, pyjama bottoms and my shirt. She struggles to put them on, so I step in to help her. When she's done I walk her to the bedroom. "You can sleep in the bed and I'll just take the couch or sleep in Zed's old room."

"What? You don't want to be around me anymore?" she sniffles.

"What? Why would you ask that?"

"You barely speak to me, you won't look at me, and now you don't want to sleep in the same bed as me."

"It's not like that, Tess. I just wasn't sure if you wanted space from me. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"I need you, Hardin. I need you to hold me. You're the only one I want to feel touching me. I need you to make Neil go away," she cries.

"Okay," I say as I climb into bed with her. She snuggles up to me and I hold her tight. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Actually, I do. I know you won't want to hear this, but I don't want there to be any secrets between us."

"You can tell me anything." I really don't want to hear this, but if this is what Tessa needs to do to feel better, then I'll listen to every uncomfortable detail.

"Hardin, he followed me from the book store and grabbed me, saying he wanted to have some fun with me. He tried to pull into the alley and when I refused, he said he'd hurt me worse if I didn't go willingly. He was too strong for me to fight against. I thought for sure he was going to succeed in raping me," she cries.

"Shhh, you're safe now."

"He stuck his tongue in my mouth, touched my breasts and butt, and tried to take my pants off. I'm so thankful you stopped him."

"You're thankful to me? Tess, how can you even say that? You were almost raped because I wasn't there for you. I told you I'd protect you and keep you safe and I'd never let anyone hurt you, but when you needed me most, I wasn't there. How can you even look at me?"

"Hardin, I don't blame you. If anything, it's my fault for being stupid enough to walk alone in the dark. It's not your fault. You saved me."

"But it is my fault and I don't know if I can ever make it up to you."

"Please, just tell me you still love me?"

"Of course I still love you, Tessa. I will for the rest of my life."

I continue to hold Tessa while she cries herself to sleep. When she's finally sleeping, I gently lift her off me and grab my charged phone and sneak into the living room.

I lie down on the couch and put my phone to my ear. I listen to the messages Tessa left for me. "Hey, um, Kim asked me to stay for a few more hours, so I need you to come pick me up at 8. I'll see you then. I love you!" She sounded so happy just a few hours ago.

I play the next one. "Hardin! I think someone's following me and I don't know what to do. I'm really scared. I'm about halfway home, but it's so dark here and no one's around. Please pick up. I need you..." She sounds so scared and desperate for me to help her.

I don't think I can ever forgive myself. If I had just been a few minutes later, Tessa's whole life would have been changed forever and I would have been the one to blame. I promised her countless times I would always protect her. I'm nothing but a liar.

I replay Tessa's voicemail message over and over while tears stream down my cheeks and eventually I fall asleep.