More Than Friends

Part 82 (Hardin)

I come back to the apartment after about an hour. I had to go find somewhere I could cool down. I was so mad at Tessa for believing the worst in me, but then I remembered the misunderstanding with Noah and how she forgave me, so I decided to come back.

"Tessa, we need to talk," I say calmly. "Tessa? Are you here?" I call through the apartment.

I walk into the bedroom and see all her clothes are gone and some of her belongings are missing, too. I start to feel sick when I realize what that means. She left me.

This isn't happening. This is everything I have ever feared since the day we kissed and she finally became mine. She's left me... She's actually left me.

I start pacing back and forth around the bedroom as I run my fingers through my hair. What am I going to do without her? The thought alone sends me into the darkness. The worst part of this is how she left me because of something I didn't even do.

I start to panic and reach for my phone to call her, when something catches my eye. I notice she's left one of my shirts folded neatly on my pillow. I walk over and pick it up with shaking hands. This is the shirt she always wears to bed. I bring it to my face and sniff it. It smells like her. Vanilla fills my senses as I start to cry.

I stand there staring at the bed, remembering the first time I made love to Tessa in that bed. I remember all the giggles, all the times I held her close, all the times I watched her dream, all the times she hit me with the pillow after I embarrassed her. They're all gone now. They're nothing but a distant memory for me now.

I collapse onto the floor as I struggle to catch my breath and accept the situation.

I want a drink more than I have ever wanted one before. I pick myself up off the floor and stumble to the kitchen. I reach into the cupboard under the sink and pull out a bottle of whiskey Zed used to keep there. I grab a glass and pour myself a drink.

Before I bring the glass to my lips, I try to call Tessa, hoping she will once again save me from myself. She ignores my call and sends it straight to voicemail. I try to leave a message, but the words just don't come.

I bring the glass to my lips and take a sip of the whiskey. It should taste like Heaven, but thoughts of how disappointed Tessa would be in me make it taste like regret. I take the glass and smash it against the wall, sending shattered glass everywhere.

I feel lost and hopeless. The only thing I have going for me is that I'm innocent. Tessa left me because of something she thinks I did. I didn't actually fuck up. I can still fix this if I can prove to Tessa I didn't cheat on her.

I pace around the apartment for ten minutes, trying to figure out how a bra got into our bed. Someone had to have put it in there. Then it dawns on me... Janine. She would have everything to gain by doing that.

I'm about to head out the door and rip her head off, but I realize she couldn't have done this. Yes, she was in the apartment, but she didn't go anywhere near the bedroom. Back to square one.

"Fuck!" I curse as I throw the entire bottle of whiskey against the wall.

I don't know what to do with myself without Tessa here with me. She won't answer my calls and I've never seen her this mad at me before.

I start running my fingers through my hair again as dark thoughts begin to take over. What if she never comes back to me? I wouldn't survive one minute in this world knowing she's disappeared from my life forever.

I'll never hold her again. I'll never kiss her again. I'll never feel her again. I'll never get to make love to her again. I'll never get to wake up with her safely in my arms again. As this realization hits me, I slide down the wall and collapse onto the floor for the second time tonight. This is the worst pain I've ever felt. I can't control myself anymore. I let my emotions take over.

I start sobbing uncontrollably and I can't wipe at my tears fast enough. They are streaming down my face while I take out my phone. I struggle to see the screen through my tears, but I open my photos and start to scroll through all the photos I've taken of Tessa. There's too many to count, but I'm thankful I still have something to remind me of the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I can't go into that bedroom, not without Tessa, and not without remembering the single worst moment of my life, so I decide to curl up on the floor, looking at Tessa's beautiful face and thinking of every single thing I have lost, until I finally fall asleep.