More Than Friends

Part 52 (Hardin)

"Tess? You haven't said anything in about ten minutes and it's starting to freak me out. Do you... um... do you regret having sex with me?"

"What?" she asks as she looks up at me. "How could you ever think that? Of course I don't regret it."

"How come you're being so quiet?"

"I'm just remembering how it felt, how being with you felt." She blushes.

"And how did it feel?"

"Like everything I ever dreamed of."

"Really?"

"Yes, Hardin."

"And you're okay... physically?"

"I'm a little sore, but the feeling of being with you in that way makes up for it," she reassures me.

"I tried to be gentle."

"I know. Stop worrying. It was perfect. It's just..."

"What?"

"I wish I could have made it perfect for you, too."

"What does that mean, Tessa?"

"You know..."

"No, I really don't know what you mean."

"I didn't know what I was doing. I'm sure you've had much better experiences before." She frowns.

"Is that really what you think?"

"Yes..." She frowns again.

"I just made love for the first time to a beautiful girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. How could it be any more perfect than that?"

"Hardin..."

"No, Tessa. It's true. What I just experienced with you was beyond anything I have ever felt before. Before, sex was just that... sex. But with you, it was so much more. I felt alive. I felt like you and I were connected in a way I never thought possible."

"I felt that, too. It was intense, but I didn't want it to end."

"I love you, Tessa. It means so much to me that you trusted me enough to let me be with you in that way."

"I love you, Hardin."

I lie holding Tessa a little while longer before she wiggles free from my arms and gets out of bed.

"Where are you going?" I ask in a panicked voice.

"I was just going to take a shower. Is that okay?" Tessa giggles.

"Oh, okay."

"I'll be quick," she says and kisses my cheek.

I already miss her. I have an urge to go jump in the shower with her, but decide against it. She probably needs a little time to herself right now.

As I'm lying in bed, counting the seconds until Tessa returns, I realize I've turned into those girls I used to sleep with, the ones who would get all clingy after our one night stands. I laugh at the irony as I sit up and start to put my boxers and pants back on.

I'm lost in thought as Tessa walks back into the room. "Earth to Hardin!" she says as she waves her hand in front of my face. "What are you thinking about?"

"Oh, nothing," I lie. The last thing Tessa needs is to be reminded of my promiscuous past.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

I stand up and take Tessa in my arms.

"Hardin, you're scaring me."

"I can never lose you, Tess. You have to know that."

"Hardin, what's gotten into you?"

"Just promise me that you'll never leave me?"

"O-okay," she stutters.

"Please, you have to say the words."

"I'll never leave you, Hardin."

"I love you, more than anything else in this entire world," I say as I hug her tighter.

"I'm the one who lost their virginity tonight. Shouldn't I be the one acting vulnerable?"

"Please, Theresa, no joking."

"Seriously, why are you acting this way?"

"I don't know..."

"Tell me," she demands.

I release her from our hug and try to explain. "It's like something clicked inside me while I was holding you after we had sex. You and I became real. We weren't just friends anymore. We weren't just dating anymore. We were an 'us'," I pause to take a breath. "We shared something that can never be taken back and it changed everything, but in the most wonderful way. Then I thought of losing us and I know I wouldn't survive it."

"I'm really happy you shared your feelings with me, but I don't think you have anything to worry about. We love each other and we're happy. We aren't going to lose what we have, Hardin."

"Tess? Can we go back to bed now? I need to fall asleep with you safe in my arms."

"Okay, Hardin."

I kiss the top of her head and we snuggle up together under the blankets. I fall asleep to thoughts of forever with Tessa.