Steddie One shots

I. Am. Gay

A/n a little bit of angst for y'all! Just remember I love you and you're good enough and you're doing really well and I'm proud of you <3
Also there are slurs in this chapter and mentions of SH

Eddie PoV
It's been a week since Jason cornered me at school. The same words swirled around my head. Freak. Faggot. Queer.
I turned my Walkman up a little more and tried to drown my thoughts.
Maybe he's right. Maybe I'll never be good enough for someone to love me.

I curled up on my side, making myself smaller. That's how I feel anyway. Small. Useless.
I began to feel tears roll down my face, and I let them. Just like I let Jason walk all over me.
I laid there for a bid before getting restless and frustrated again.
I decided to go for a drive, so I did. Windows down, just driving.

Before I knew it I was at Harrington's. I sat in my van on the driveway before choosing to go in. I took a deep breath and knocked on his door.
No answer. I looked at my watch. 1:24. Shit.
I rang the door bell and saw Steves bedroom light flick on. A few moments later, a very confused and tired Steve opened the door.
"Eddie? What?"
I shuffled my feet. "Uh sorry. I was just restless and wanted somewhere to go. I can leave-"
He shook his head and grabbed my wrist, pulling me inside.
He gently lead me to the couch and I sat down. "Was anything in particular bothering you?" Steve asked gently. He wasn't prying he was more... concerned.
I considered lying to him and decided it against it. I could trust him, right?
I took a deep breath. "Jason's been... unbearable these last few weeks. He says some stuff and- I just can't take it anymore." I could feel the tears threatening to spill again and I subconsciously rubbed my scars.
Steve grabbed my hand and rubbed small circles over it.
"What sort of stuff does he say?" Once again it wasn't mean or prying, he wanted to help.
"Uhh you know. He called me a freak, a queer a fag. Tells me I'm unworthy of love." I was barely whispering.
Steves face was neutral but his eyes were full of rage. "Eddie you can't believe him! He talks shit! That's everything he says.. bullshit."
I avoided his gaze. "But what if it's not? What if-"
He gently grabbed my face and looked me in the eye. "I promise you it is."
"But I am gay, Steve! I'm a fucking freak.. no one will love me."
Steve gently wiped the tears off my face. "I do." He said softly.
"What? No. I don't need your pity."
He shook his head and smiled gently. "It's not pity.. I've been talking to robin and I think I'm- im, bisexual."
I shook my head slowly. "There's no way that Steve the hair Harrington is gay! No fucking way!"
His face was serious. "Eddie- Eddie! You're spiralling!"
Of course I was spiralling, the guy I've liked for forever returns my feelings? He's the straightest guy I know.
He moved a stray curl out of my face gently. "Eddie look at me. I. Am. Gay. and I love you." He whispered that last part.
"I- I love you too."

A/n
Hello again!!! I hope you enjoyed this angsty ish chapter, don't worry I've got fluff coming next (will probs be followed with another angsty chapter I have planned)
On a personal note: this chapter is very special to me, I relate to both characters so much in this.
No matter what, never give up. If you ever need any help, advise or a friend, just private message me for a chat and remember that you are good enough.
Love y'all <3
-Liv