Heaven's Child ≫ SPN

15. Master Kev

I woke up in a start.

"Eliza!" Kevin shook me. "Wake up! It's Cas!"

"Eliza get your ass here now!" Dean barked from the library. My eyes grew wide and I felt my heart kickstart with a jolt.

"'S happening?"

Kevin looked serious, focused. "Cas is hurt." Suddenly the sleepiness wore off and full, anxious lucidity took its place.

"H-Hurt? How?"

"He was attacked."

I felt my muscles grow tense as dread grew in my chest. "Angels?" I asked breathlessly, willing myself off my bed.

"Probably," Kevin nodded.

We walked the hallway robotically, the only sound coming from Kevin's bare feet smacking the marble and my socks searching for friction. When I stepped into the bright light, Sam's head snapped towards me, an alarmed expression twisting his features. Dean was hovered over Cas, blocking my view of him.

"Dean?" He immediately spun around, his anxious eyes meeting mine with an unsaid plea: help him. My glance landed on Cas and I felt gut wrenching sadness wash over me.

The first thing I realized was how he reminded me of a punctured lightbulb. He was glowing everywhere he was cut, and it would've taken my breath away if it didn't insinuate his growing sickness.

Wherever he was bleeding light, he was bleeding red blood too. Someone had attacked him all over, everywhere. His his neck, his arms, legs, chest. His clothes were tattered and dirty, and his face was barely recognizable. It was lumpy and red—it made my blood boil.

I felt my eyes sting a bit as anger tightly coiled in the very pit of my stomach. "Who did this?"

When Dean spoke his eyes were unfocused and his voice was soft, innocent. "I-I don't know, I woke up to get some water and I found him like this on the floor. I don't even know how long he's been laying there." He shook his head when looked at Cas again. His face slipped for a second, contorting in agony like he regretted not saving Cas from the beating with everything he had.

There was hard determination on his face when he turned to me. "We'll figure it out later," he said it as a command. "But right now you're going to conjure up as much mojo as you can and fix this—"

"Dean," Sam cautioned softly. But Dean spoke over him.

He tilted his head towards his brother, "She has to." His eyes shifted a little before he met mine, obvious guilt in them because he knew I was hurting. "You have to."

I felt my stomach twist as I realized that this was why I was called here. "I can't," the words barely came out, but because of the loud silence everyone heard. "Dean, I don't know how. I don't know what to do."

"Yes you can, you healed Kevin when he cut himself in a second!" His tone was accusatory, like I was choosing not to heal Cas.

"But Cas is different, he's not human." My voice was nowhere near as loud as his. The expression I bore was heartbroken, remorseful. "I could mess him up, I don't know how his body works."

"You healed him before, on your first day here," Sam tried.

I shook my head, giving Sam the same look. "It's not the same, he wasn't hurt at the time, he was just drained. All I did was just give him his health back, but I don't know what to do here. I-I'm sorry...I just...I don't know." The worst part was that I did know what to do. I knew exactly what to do in a situation like this—ask Cas.

"Try," Dean insisted through his teeth, his patience dissolving immediately.

"I'm sure he'll gain consciousness and then he'll be able to heal himself." I mumbled the words even though I could barely believe it myself.

"So you're going to let him die!" Dean suddenly thundered. I felt myself get startled, but not only because of Dean's shouting.

Angels didn't die. Cas told me.

"They left their bodies."

The words echoed through me once before I made my decision.

You're not going anywhere. Determination built in me quickly, but that didn't stop the panic from setting in. Still, I began to unbutton his shirt while Dean undid his tie and Sam eased him out of his coat and blazer.

When his shirt was open, I could see how bad he was hurt. The worst gash tore diagonally from his shoulder down to his hip, bleeding white glow and red blood. My stomach was twisting nervously because I knew there was no way I could help him. Cas was so much more complex than a human. I was going to have little to no affect on him.

I squeezed my eyes shut and counted to ten in my head.

I couldn't afford to panic now. I really, really couldn't. I built a metaphoric box in my head and aggressively shoved every overanxious thought in it for now. Cas was what I needed to focus on.

Healing this one wound out of the many I still needed to deal with brought so much exertion I felt my insides squeeze like they were in a death grip, effectively cutting off my breathing. But I didn't pause; I couldn't. The wound was almost healing. I was pushing myself to dangerous extremes, but I knew I wouldn't have it any other way. I couldn't let Cas die.

What would I do without him? Would Sam and Dean still let me stay? Would Kevin fight for me when they decide that I was more trouble than I was worth? How was I going to just leave? After I got so used to them? Most importantly, how was I going to defeat Alec? Would I be able to? Alone?

I remembered what Cas told me about being lonely. He said that it was hard realizing why you were created.What terrified me the most was that I knew exactly what he meant.

Bitterness coursed through me as memories of the years between my dad's death and before I met Sam and Dean flashed through my mind. I was just beginning to forget the darkest days of my life—I didn't want to go back.

I wasn't going to.