Heaven's Child ≫ SPN

31. Holy Light

I released them from my hold.

The angels took a step back like a possession was leaving them. They blinked and shook their heads, clearing their minds.

"I'm sure you all understand where you stand." I didn't bother to put on a show of dominance. My face was expressionless, calm.

One angel took a step forward. "You-you can't do this. We h-have free will now."

I tilted my head. "What's your name?"

"J-Jerimicha."

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do, Jerimicha."

He stood motionless for a moment, unsure of how to react.

Suddenly, he tensed, breath caught in his throat with a sound. His face turned red, eyes popping out, the veins in his neck visible. Small vein-like branches of blue flickered on his skin. His entire body was vibrating, arms violently trembling on his sides before he fell to his knees.

The angels watched, carefully unsure of what was happening.

Finally, like he was choking on it this whole time, a scream sounded, his final sound, as the fire inside him overtook him. His eyes turned black with streaks of red down his cheeks. He was bruised blue all over the visible parts of his body.

"Does anyone else have anything to say?"

The angels stood silent.

I clicked my tongue. "I said, does anyone else have anything to say?"

A sloppy unanimous monotone no sounded.

"Good. Go find something to do until I need you." They did nothing. "Go."

I turned to them without looking at them. My eyes were far off ahead of me. "Go home," I muttered. "I'll finish this."

Sam and Dean spoke in one voice. "Not without you."

I still couldn't look them in the eyes. So I busied myself with tending to Sullivan's wounds. "You've done enough for me. I have to go finish this."

"What about Cas?" Dean barked. "You're going to leave him this way?"

"He's not my responsibility. Alec is."

"I can't believe you," he almost whispered it. "After all that he's done for you, after all that we've done for you, you're just going to walk away!"

I knew what he was trying to do. "That's not going to work on me, Dean."

His face cleared, livid anger in his eyes. He was losing. I was slipping through his fingers and he knew it. He couldn't control me. But he tried again anyway. Stubborn and headstrong as always. "How many times do we have to drill it into your god damn head? We're a team. We fight as a team."

I shook my head. "Not this fight we're not." Finally, I looked at him. I looked at both of them. Pain and anger on their face, as always. It was always like this for them. "This fight...it's filthy. It's for deranged souls like mine and Alec's. We were born to kill each other and we're going to do it alone. You have no place in this fight."

"Filthy?" Sam repeated. "Is that what you think of yourself? Because you killed two angels?"

I clenched my jaw. "No. Not because I killed two angels. But because I enjoyed killing two angels, because I enjoy having them inside of me. Because I can't wait till you just leave so I could hunt the rest down and have them too."

They were quiet. A small part of me had the audacity to feel my heartbreak. I knew I deserved it and much more.

"If you leave," Dean broke the silence. His voice was harsh; determined, hesitation on his face. His eyes were lost, still deciding. For a second, that lasted. Then hesitation dissolved into anger and his green eyes were fiery. "You're dead to me."