| Chapter Seventeen | Lost Love

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I wandered around the yard, thinking hard about where my life was headed. Tsukika wouldn't get that chance. She died. She was just a girl who, like me, wanted to enjoy life. Why was I the one who was saved? Why was she the one who was killed?

I would eventually die. I couldn't keep relying on Kyojuro saving me. And I didn't want to. I was Rika Fuji; I didn't need to be saved. But I was. If he hadn't come, I would have died. He prioritized me over his mission and came to my side. I wasted his time.

I resented the fact that I had taken up his time, and that I had to be saved. He was a Hashira, and he had a duty he needed to focus on. Not coming to me whenever something went wrong. When I called for a Hashira, it wasn't for Kyojuro; it was for any Hashira that was free.

My stomach flipped as I realized the solution. It would be the hardest thing I've done, but I had to. The relationship had to end. I wasn't going any further in the Corps. I'd stay at rank Kinoto, and never become a Hashira. My skills would never match those of Kyojuro's. He needed someone better by his side, someone he didn't have to run to save. Maybe in time, Kanroji and Kyojuro could be a great couple.

It hurt to think about, I loved Kyojuro, I wanted to marry him, but this was for him. I had to do this for his sake. He would be better off, and I could keep my promise to Master, that I wouldn't keep Kyojuro from his missions, and duties as a Hashira

I gripped my sword, and began to swing aggressively. I closed my eyes, and spun around until I was dizzy. I stumbled, and tried to pinpoint the location of the bamboo. It didn't have much of a temperature, but I could feel the slight difference in the air temperature near it. It was like a blank space.

I charged forward, and danced around it, and then jumped over it and sliced the tip off. I opened my eyes as I landed on the ground. I wasn't focused enough in that battle with Giro. I allowed my emotions to take hold, and I lost my concentration.

"That was a lovely attack." Kyojuro said.

I turned and Kyojuro stood, watching me with a smile. I wanted to smile, but seeing him made me feel sick again. I didn't want to follow through, but I had to.

"Hello." I said.

"I wonder if you might like to accompany me to visit my brother?" He said.

It was a good idea. I would leave the Rengoku family this way. I loved them dearly, but I had to let them go. I would miss my visits with Senj, but it would be alright in the end. I could go back to the Rika who didn't let anybody in. I would still have my best friend Giyu, and that's all I could allow myself.

I would end the relationship at the Rengoku house, and I would leave. What about the house? Technically it was mine, left to me from Master, but I also felt bad if I kicked him out. I would figure that out as I went.

"Rika? Are you alright?" Kyojuro asked.

I realized I stared at the ground while I thought. I looked up at Kyojuro and he smiled at me. My heart ached. He stepped forward and put his arms around me and I stiffened.

"Are you still angry with me over what happened last week?"

My eyes widened. Crap. I didn't think about that. He was definitely going to think I was leaving him because of that. I would have to be sure that when I did tell him I was leaving, that it was because of me wasting his time.

"I'm sorry, I got lost in my mind, and I was being ridiculous." I said, and hugged him back. A hug was alright, after all, I hugged Giyu.

"I swear to you, I would never-"

"Kyojuro, I know. You're a loyal man, and I know that. Don't worry, I'm over that."

"I'll race you to my father's house!" He said.

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