Show Me That I'm Better | Post Malone

IV

*Austin's POV*

It had been three days since she had come to his house.

He had spent his Monday morning at the hospital, getting poked and prodded, spiked with needles and then lain down under a giant laser beam.

He had found out about the cancer the week before and made the decision not to say anything to anyone as yet, coming up with many justifications in his head. But the one that he kept coming back to, no matter who it was he was thinking of telling, was simply because he didn't think he could say the words out loud yet.

Denial had always been a super power of his and by keeping this locked and hidden in the dark, maybe it would follow many of his other problems and just fade away.

But by 11am on that Monday it was clear to Austin that the universe couldn't care less if he never said the words out loud, this problem was fucking real.

He had been home for around an hour before Delilah turned up, coffees in hand, looking just as lost to be there as he was at the sight of her. Timing's a funny thing, he had just come back from having his head down the toilet, wondering how his Monday could get any worse when fete answered by way of his doorbell.

When he first saw her he assumed that Brad or Gia had been the reason for her turning up, trying to offer out an olive branch as they were obviously going to be spending a fair amount of time together in the lead up to the wedding. Not for one millisecond had it dawned on him that he might have been seen this morning by someone he knew, and never would it have crossed his mind that she would care enough or have to balls to approach him about it.

It had been three days since he had found her on his doorstep and yet every time his doorbell rang, it was still her face he pictured waiting there.

"Fuck man you look rough" Brad laughed as Austin opened the door for him, leading him towards the kitchen where he had been trying to come up with something he might have to eat in his house that would stay down.

"You always know how to make me feel wanted Brad" Austin walked to the fridge, grabbing out a beer and a bottle of water. He cracked the beer and passed it to Brad as he made his way back over to the stools of the kitchen island, slumping down in one as he took a sip of water.

"Big night last night?" Brad asked with raised eye brows, clearly waiting in anticipation for Posty's response rather than Austin's.

"Something like that" was all he had the energy to muster up. "How did you and Gia pull up after the other night?"

The question had been more an attempt to buy some time for his stomach to settle and for him to feel more human again before trying to engage in any kind of conversation. He took another sip of water and closed his eyes for a second while he tried to collect himself.

"Austin?" His name startled him back to reality.

"Huh? What?"

"Jesus man where the fuck did you go. I asked if you were free tonight, Gia wants to do dinner with you and Delilah to try and figure out some dates when you'll both be in the same country for the wedding." Brad asked again, his brows slightly furrowed. "I know it's last minute but Lilah's out again to Europe tomorrow night and Gia wants to try and get shit moving."

The last thing Austin wanted was to see or speak to anyone right now, all he wanted was to go back to bed, crawl up into a ball and not move for the rest of the day and the fastest way he thought that might happen was for him to agree.

"Yeah man, just message me later." He said as he got up from the kitchen Island and slowly made his way to the stairs, dragging his feet up each one with every last bit of energy he had. He barely made it to his bed before he passed out.

The room was slightly darker when he next opened his eyes as he reached for his phone from the bed side table. He groaned as he ignored the messages and missed calls from his team before Brad's was the only one left, reminding him about dinner at 7:30.

As he slowly sat up and started making his way towards his bathroom his brain had already begun trying to think of excuses to get out of tonight, however by the time he had gotten out of the steaming hot shower he thought he was feeling slightly better and would be able to make it through the night. He was Best Man and god dammit if he wasn't going to be the best fucking man he could be for Brad. It had nothing to do with the fact that he would be seeing her again after three of the longest days of his life.

***

"Lilah's not far off, she got caught up filming an interview but should be here in 15." Gia said as she cracked a beer and passed it to Austin. He sat at the breakfast bar with Brad while Gia was stirring the saucepan simmering on the stove.

It was just on 7:30 as Austin's driver was pulling up to Brad's house. Although he'd managed to psych himself up and was feeling slightly better than earlier today, he knew he wasn't feeling well enough to try and drive himself, especially if he was going to end up having a few celebratory drinks.

He noted on his way to the door that he could only see Brad and Gia's cars in the driveway. He tried to ignore the instant feeling of disappointment.

"You feeling better tonight?" Brad asked with a gentle shove of his shoulder "You looked like fuckin shit earlier"

"Yeah I'm good" he responded before taking a drink, hoping desperately the subject would change.

"What did you do last night? You and Mischa have a big one?" Brad asking, standing from his seat and moving over to lean against the bench next to the stove.

"Something like that..." Austin watched as Gia leant back into him, Brad's hand coming up and wrapping around her waist lovingly. It wasn't often that he got jealous of people, he was well aware of how fortunate he was and how lucky he is to not only live the life he does but also bring his friends and family along for the ride. And it wasn't that he was jealous Brad has Gia, he liked her and sure she was attractive but she was common looking, fake tan, fake hair, fake lips and fake ties and god she was high fucking maintenance sometimes. However something Delilah had said the other day had really struck him.

Completely alone.

Those two words had been playing over and over in his head since Monday. Is that really how she saw him? Is that really what he was? It hadn't been how he had seen himself but now he felt like maybe his view had been blurred, had he been looking at his life through beer goggles and was he the only one not to see this?

He had told himself he was keeping his diagnosis from Brad until the engagement party, not wanting to spoil the night for them. But now the engagement party had come and gone, yes there was the wedding but that wasn't going to be for months and his treatment would be done by then.

His doctors had made their concern clear to him that he should have someone to confide in, someone who would be there to support him when he was unwell and come to treatments with him. He initially had brushed it off however the past couple of days had made that evident to him. He had barely left his bed, his head spinning and nausea flooding over him every time he so much as opened his eyes. And this had only been the mild, first treatment.

"Actually guys there is something I wanted to talk to you about..."

Just like a Band-Aid, rip this shit off quick and get it over with...