Show Me That I'm Better | Post Malone

XVIII

*This chapter touches on anxiety, abuse, self harm. Nothing too deep but it's stuff I've experienced and figured I wouldn't gloss over it too much...*

She heard a grunt from above her. She didn't remember falling asleep, didn't remember changing in to her pyjamas or heading to bed. 
The last thing she remembered was being on the couch with him.

She stretched out her legs, her body slowly starting to stir as her mind played catch up before hearing another groan from above her head. She didn't need to open her eyes to realise where she was, could feel him under her, soft yet firm, warmth radiating from him.

She should have panicked, she had now moved from falling asleep in his bed with him to sleeping on him, wrapped in his arms, her legs tangled with his. This is not what she does, she is not this person, they were barely friends and yet here she was, laying in his arms with all her defences down. She was making herself an easy target and she needed to fix this, needed to remember to reprimand herself when she wasn't so comfortable, when her mind wasn't jelly.

She could tell from his deep breathing that he was still asleep. She contemplated keeping her eyes closed, figured she would eventually fall back to sleep. His arm was wrapped around her so tightly, holding her firmly to his body, she wanted to stay curled into him, protected by his strong arms.

She had just given in, closing her eyes again and snuggling in to the feeling of him when she heard another groan. As she opened her eyes and looked above her the cause became obvious, Spencer was standing on his chest, licking at his nose and neck.

She carefully slid from him, doing her best not to disturb him as she grabbed Spencer. She pulled the blanket back up over him, hoping the warmth from it would be enough for him to not notice she was missing as she quietly took Spencer outside. She let him run off some energy and go to the bathroom, the bitter cold morning air penetrating all the way down to her bones. She waited patiently for him to finish before returning to the warmth of the house.

"Hey" a soft rasp came from the couch, still snuggled under the warm blanket where she had left him. His voice instantly ignited a shy smile on her face.

"Morning." She watched him toss the blanket back from his body, a silent offer for her to join him again in their little cocoon, which her body happily accepted, her feet carrying her back towards him on their own accord.

"Fuck you're freezing." He bought the blanket up right under her chin, wrapping it tightly around both of them before rubbing his hand up and down the length of her arm.

"I know, I'm sorry. How are you feeling?"

"Mmm okay I think, did you sleep okay?" His eyes remained closed, trying to hold on to the last remnants of sleep.

"I did." She asked softly with a yawn, her eyes already closing again as she nestled down into the heat coming from the blanket and his body. She felt him nuzzle into the top of her head as she fell asleep.

***

When she opened her eyes next she could tell from the sunlight filtering through that it was later in the morning. She could feel Austin moving beneath her, just small gentle arm movements from his left arm while his right's grip on her remained as tight as before, holding her pressed to his body.

"Ooooh does that feel nice? Right there huh?" His whispers above her were so soft she barely made them out. She was about to look up, the colour draining from her, worrying who he was talking to before hearing the soft squeaks of Spencer answering back.
"Sshhh sshhh sshhh mama's still sleeping bud."

For the first time ever she wanted to stay laying here, in this man's arms. She had never been in this situation before, been this intimate with a man without it having been manipulative or forced. Nothing about this felt like he had an agenda or an end goal in mind. She had no reason to feel this comfortable, this at peace laying with him.