Show Me That I'm Better | Post Malone

XXIII

*Austin's POV*

He couldn't move.

He had nothing but wet boxers sticking to his skin, if he tried to move at all it would be too obvious.

He should have been embarrassed, the way his body had reacted to almost nothing, but he was too swept up in how exhilarating it felt to be embarrassed.

She had changed so much in the past few days, opened up to him so much more than he had expected. He had expected for them to arrive here and for her to keep her distance, to hide away from him and maybe make an appearance at meal times. He had been thinking worse case scenarios, he knew that was an unfair expectation however he didn't think he could handle the disappointment if he had set himself up for anything more.

He tried to talk himself back down, remind himself that she had no interest in anything with him. She had made that clear from the beginning, hell Brad had made it clear to him before he even introduced them. He tried to convince himself he was imagining it, that all the gentle touches, small glances, soft smiles had been an act of empathy on her part.

But the way she was looking at him now as he sat in the water was definitely not fucking empathy.

He watched her watch him, his body reacting more than he'd ever experienced from someone 4 feet away. He was used to girls looking at him in a certain way, he knew it was all lust and dollar signs, but this look was something else, there was a fire that was akin to lust but somehow burned deeper, brighter, stronger.

He hadn't seen anyone look at him this way before and he'd certainly never seen this kind of look in her eyes before. Every second that her eyes were glued to him he could feel himself getting harder, that voice of reason being heavily drowned out.

Then she stood up.

It was enough to make him feel like he was going to combust. Her long wet hair dripping over her shoulders, drops of water subtly directing his focus from her throat, down the tanned skin of her chest before landing on the thin white lace covering her. It was exactly what he had imagined she would wear, elegant and classy showing just the smallest hint of her left nipple.

Even after they had showered together weeks ago he hadn't remembered her body like this. Her breasts were bigger than he had noticed but they sat high, perfectly pert under the flimsy fabric. Her stomach was slimmer than he had remembered as well, the delicate lines of her muscles drawing his eyes down to the slant of her hips. 

"You said you wouldn't look."  She spoke so softly he barely heard her.

He knew her concern, knew the reason she had been so shy but even they weren't as he had remembered. The multitude of healing scars that littered her abdomen seemed to be completely silenced by the rest of her. He could understand why she was self conscious about them, Christ he was self conscious enough about the few stretch marks that sat on his stomach, but seeing her here, like this, those lines were practically invisible to him.

"I lied." He couldn't afford to mince his words or try to hide the obvious, all of his focus and attention being used to hold himself back.
"Answer my question."

"It hurts less to be lonely on your own than to be lonely in a relationship."

He had hoped that her sad admission would do something to help calm his body a little. All it did was make him want to rush to her, grab her in his arms and hold her against him.

"That's not what I asked Delilah." His gaze remained strong on her, all of his focus still on trying to make it just one more minute without exploding.

"Austin, I've been lonely my whole life, I've been on my own for so long I can't remember what it feels like to not be lonely....
That's a lie, I haven't been lonely here, with you. Until you say good night."

Fuck.

He needed to get them out of here while he had the tiniest slither of restraint left. Between the sight of her and her admission, he had lost any possible brain function. He needed to come up with an escape but he couldn't think of anything other than how her lips would feel on his, how her skin might taste as he slowly let his tongue explore the dip of her collarbone, the sound of her soft gentle moan as his hands travelled slowly up her body, dipping carefully under that pathetic fucking lace.

Shit. He was getting way too fucking worked up now. He knew he had to try and rectify the situation. He slowly slid from the ledge back into the water, hoping that it would somehow help solve the problem as quickly as it had contributed to it.

She had sunken back into the water, her eyes focusing on the fingers in front of her rather than watching him. He began swimming towards her, slowly so she didn't feel cornered. He expected her to react as he got closer, expected her to move out of the way or say his name. Instead she held her ground.

It wasn't until he was almost on top of her that she looked up to him. The fire that had been burning in her eyes looked as though someone had spilt a tank of kerosene on it.

He had to touch her, he needed to feel her skin, her body. He placed his hands on her hips holding her steady as he crowded her against the edge of the pool, the feeling of her in his fingers sending electric shocks through him.

"Del I swear to you, I will never let you feel lonely again."

He watched her face fall slightly, a crease forming between her brows.

"I can't give you what you want Austin." Her voice came out nothing more than a soft tremble.

"I don't believe you." His fingers started soft movements against the skin of her stomach as he slowly started sliding his hands up to her waist. He could feel the firm raised skin over her abdomen, the changes in texture where each scar lay.

"Austin" he had to hold back from her slightly, he knew if he got any closer to her she would feel the full effect she's had on him and fuck that would have her running.

He opened his mouth to speak again, to tell her that she was the only fucking thing he wanted, when the sudden sound of a loud exhaust just beyond the trees interrupted him.

"Shit." He crowded over her body as they waited for the car to pass by, taking a step back from her as the sound got further away. He knew from the look on her face that their time in the pool was done.

"Come on darlin." He held out his hand for her as he began making his way from the pool. She waited by the edge, nervously looking over her shoulders, as he quickly grabbed her coat and made his way back to wrap it around her.

They each collected their clothing in silence before heading back to his truck. The drive home was slightly uncomfortable, each time his eyes flicked to check on her she was focused on something out the window. 

He felt a wave of relief hit as he pulled into his driveway, parking his truck back in it's place in the  at port. They silently made their way inside together, climbing the stairs side by side as they approached their rooms. He stood and waited for her, to see what her next movement was going to be, praying that it would be anything other than slinking off to her room.

"Thank you Austin." She looked up to him with a warm smile, her nose and cheeks a soft pink from the cold.

There was so much he wanted to say to her, to ask her but he knew she would run if he did. All he could bring himself to do was offer her a small smile in return.

She stood on her tip toes and reached one hand on his shoulder as she leaned in, placing a soft, gentle kiss on his cheek, before turning and making her way to her room, Spencer in tow. He'd never been jealous of a dog before but he supposed there was a first time for everything.

He followed suit, making his way into his room and into a scolding hot shower, letting the warm water and his hand ease his bent up tension from the morning.