Show Me That I'm Better | Post Malone

II

Delilah was already two coffees in as she made her way to her 10am appointment. She had decided to do her body the favour of resisting a third, knowing her senses were always on overdrive anyway any time she was due to go back to LAC.

She had been coming to this hospital, to this psychiatrist for long enough that she could find her way from the entrance to the elevators without taking her eyes off the ground. Her glasses stayed covering her eyes, her hair pulled almost over her face in an attempt to conceal her identity, or at least avoid any unwanted leering.

For some reason today she had miscalculated her steps, colliding with a silver trash can, pulling her eyes from their usual path.

He was walking through reception and onto a ward with purpose, nodding acknowledgements to the staff as if he knew them well.

She tried to brush it off, she told herself it wasn't him. After all, she'd never once seen him on his own, not totally. He always had at least a couple of security guards in tow, even when he would show up at Brad and Gia's he'd have some kind of entourage or at least his latest squeeze.

She knew, even if it was him, she should respect his privacy, but before she could stop herself she was slinking through the waiting room, trying to get a better look past the cap.

"Austin, come on through please" she heard a female voice call as a middle aged lady in a doctors coat called, her eyes scanning a file. She watched in confusion as the man in the cap rose from his seat and made his way towards the doctor, hand outstretched in greeting.

Her mind was still playing catch up as she slowly left the waiting room and made her way back to the corridor towards a waiting elevator. She sighed in relief when she saw it was empty, glad that there were no faces she would have to try to avoid as she made her way upstairs.

****

"Alright Delilah, that's our time for today. I know that you feel like we're at a stand still at the moment but I do want to remind you of how far you've come. You're doing exceptionally well and you should be proud."

"Thanks Dr White" Delilah rose from her seat in her doctor's office as she collected her bag. "I know, slow process, 2 steps forward, 3 steps back and all that".

"I know it's been a while and I can imagine you thought we'd be all done by now, but don't minimise what you've been through okay?" Dr White continued as she walked Delilah towards the door "I'll see you in two weeks."

Delilah smiled at her doctor as she waved her goodbye. It was true, she knew that she had made progress, but she she couldn't help but be disappointed with the scars that were still deeply etched in her brain.

****

Delilah grabbed the two tall coffees as she made her way out of her car. She let out a deep breathe as she locked it and made her way to the front door. She wasn't really sure why she was here, her body had gone into autopilot and somehow between ordering two coffees and this moment, she had remembered her way to his house and was currently standing on his door step, finger pressing firmly on the bell.

"Del?" Austin asked as he approached the security screen  "what are you doing here?" The confusion painted clearly on his face as he unlocked the door.

Delilah smiled as she held up the two coffees, one held firmly in each hand. "I know it's not fizzy but it is caffeinated".

Austin opened the door and hesitantly took one of the warm cups from her hand as he stood back, gesturing for her to come in. "Thanks, I'm not really sure that answers my question though". 

Delilah took a couple of steps into the entrance and couldn't help her eyes from roaming over the house. It wasn't what she expected it to look like, although she wasn't quite sure what she expected. She had been here a couple of times before however it was usually just dropping Brad or Gia off and didn't often result in her making it this far in. The only other time she had been inside was for a party he was throwing in Brad's honour and she definitely didn't remember the house looking any where near this homely or clean.